Joseph Wilmot, or, The Memoirs of a Man-Servant — page 348: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

8 SSS ee JOSEPH WILMOT; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF A MAN-SERVANT. 335d -_— * Do not be afraid of anything,” I rejoined. “ I | old gentleman was infinitely relieved and dvlighted am almost certain,” I went on to say in an under- | when we issued from the coffee-room. I led the tone, “that they are ignorant of the precise cir- | Way across the court-yard to the staircase leading cumstances in which you left Edinburgh and on | up to the widow’s apartment; and on reaching the account of which your death was reported: for I | door I thought I had better give my two friends never heard either of them make the slightest | some little preparation for the surprise they were allusion to those circumstances. At all events I aboutto receive. I accordingly said, “ It is really will pledge my existence that they will be delighted no jest which I am playing off upon you: it isa to see you. The Dominie is now comparatively a truth! But when it bursts upon you it will fill rich man : Saltcoats, you know, is well off: they | you with amazement as well as with delight.” have both for some time past been travelling on “ It’s just that,” said the Dominie: “he has the Continent—and they just now arrived at this provided us a treat of haddocks, and collops, and hotel.” haggis, and tripe: and now I am sorry I ate those “Oh! yes. Iwillsee them! I shall rejoice to three platefuls of Strasbourg pie and the half of see them !” exclaimed the widow. that chicken, to say nothing of the cold veal, down “ Where is your sitting-room ?” I inquired. stairs in the coffee-room. But if the Widow Glen- “ Up this staircase, on the first-floor above the bucket was alive, I would tell her r entresol,” was the widow’sresponse. “ Bringthem, “And she is!” I exclaimed, throwing open the up! I will order wine—punch—spirits—every- | door of the apartment. “She is alive—and she is thing of the best !” here!’ “Well,” I interrupted her, “hasten up-stairs | The effects produced upon the Dominie and Mr. and I will bring them to you presently.” Saltcoats by my announcement, were as different As I was turning away I saw that Miss Corn- | as could be well conceived. The Dominie said, wall flung at me a very spiteful glance, as if she | with his usual stolid imperturbable drowsiness, considered that she had been cruelly wronged and “It’s just that. I always knew she wasn’t dead :” outraged by my refusal to offer her my hand in | —while Mr. Saltcoats at first seemed startled with marriage: and perhaps she was likewise alarmed | affright—but the next instant he burst into an up: lest the introduction of old friends to the Widow | roarious shout of glee. The former rolled lazily Glenbucket might somewhat impair her own in- | into the room: the latter rushed capering in; and fluence with the dame. For a toady invariably | it was with a veritable shriek of delight that the seeks to sustain a gulf between her patroness and Widow Glenbucket waddled forward to receive all persons who are likely to be‘ome intimate with | them. Let me here observe that the Dominie had no her: she conceives she has the exclusive right of | real reason for expressing his belief that she was monopolizing all the smiles and favours of that not really dead: it was only one of the phases of the patroness; and she consequently looks upon any | manner in which his mind adapted itself, with friendly approach on the part of others as an un- | characteristic idiosyncracy, to whatsoever circum- warrantable intrusion on her own property. How- | stance might occur. ever, little recked I for the spiteful wrath or the| Nevertheless, the worthy Mr. Clackmannan now selfish jealousy of Miss Cornwall; and I hastened | seized upon the widow’s hand ; and with more back to the coffee-room, anticipating a strange | quickness of speech than he was wont to display, scene from the meeting that was about to take | proceeded to ask divers ridiculous questions and lace. make sundry equally stupid comments. “Your two or three minutes are rather long) “It’s just that,’ he said: “I knew you would ones,” vociferated Saltcoats the instant I made my |come. But how long have you been dead ? and appearance; and he shouted out the words with | when was it you came alive again? How fat and such uproar that the nervous old gentleman already | well you are looking !—twenty years younger than alluded to, gave a convulsive start, and spilt half| when I saw youlast! But where have you been the contents of a tumbler of reeking punch oyer | ever since you died? and why didn’t you write his smallclothes. and let me know that you were not dead at all ? “T met somebody who particularly wishes to see | And that reminds me of what I said to you the you both,” I said. “ Come quick !” very last time we met # “It’s just that,” said the Dominie: “I had a “T remember all about it, Dominie!’’ said the presentiment that Bailie Owlhead, Mrs. Owlhead,| Widow Glenbucket, warmly pressing the old and all the little Owlheads would arrive at the| gentleman’s hand. “And how do you do? And hotel this evening. But as the Bailie is particu-| you too, Mr. Saltcoats? Oh, fie for shame!” larly fond of haggis and tripe—and I never saw; These last ejaculations were evoked from the any in France—I should think he would go back | widow’s lips just at the instant that the said lips again the instant he finds there is none. And that | were about to be pressed by those of Mr. Saltcoats. puts mein mind of what I one day said to the | Then Mr. Saltcoats, having thus far relieved his Widow Glenbucket S feelings by embracing the widow, rushed forward “ Ah! the Widow Glenbucket,” I observed with | like an ecstatic madman and embraced Miss Corn- a sly smile. “You are always thinking of her! | wall likewise: then he flung his hat up to the But come quick, I repeat! It is an old friend of| ceiling, and as it descended, playfully used it as a your's whom you will both be rejoiced to see.” football—kicking in the crown, and ruining that The Dominie rolled himself off his chair; and Mr. | grey felt beaver beyond redemption. Thus he Saltcoats vociferously expressed his opinion that| went on capering and leaping, and performing a I was playing off a hoax upon himself and his| thousand antics about the room—giving vent the friend of some sort or another—but that ifit were| while to ejaculations of uproarious exultation— so he would mercilessly mulcf me in a bowl of| until after an ineffectual attempt to vary these punch. I have not the slightest doubt the nervous | proofs of exuberant joyouszess by standing on his SS sl lS oe CORNICGLOOK (CO)