The Mysteries of the Court of London Vol. 4 — page 169: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ae gee Ge, Es Ws a a ned a ee eR ee eS ta ee ne at a ea 2 am punished for my fall. Forced to withdraw, as I have said, from the sphere wherein I had been ac- customed to move, J came upon the Continent. This wag in January last: and I took up my abode in Paris, where for some weeks I dwelt in seclusion. A faithful female friend in London, with whom I corresponded, informed me from time to time that my noble lover—should | not rather say, destroy: r of my peace—was reported tu be atill upon the Con- tinent. Suddenly an idea struck me—and I mar- velled that it had not entered my mind before. What if I were to seek him—endeavour to bring him back to my arms—make him atone for the wrong he bad done me by the present fenderness and future constancy of hie behaviour towards me? ¢ longed to seek him for this purpose. But my pride stood inthe way! Asa woman I had been wronged —as a woman 1 craved for revenge. Revenge! no, not if he would love mp still! A’ few more weeks passed—~and at length I found——Oh! how can I confess the humiliating truth to you, Mr. Loftus? ——But still it must be told—and that truth is, I became painfully aware that my dishonour would bear its fruit—that I was in the way to become a mother-——” Mrs. Roberts averted her head while she made thie avowal in low and ‘tremulous accentsg then with a profound sigh she became suddenly silent. Jocelyn felt all the awkwardness of their relative position—he, a young man, alone at that midnight hour with her, a young woman—and ske making these strange and painful revealings to his ears, while ke experienced for her @ sympathy and a com- passion to which however he knew not how to give expression! Fur when a woman, young and hand- some, 18 not only frail, but makes an avowal of her frailty—-the words of sympathy which a generous- hearted young man, himself young and handsome, would utter, might so easily be construed into ad- vances of a tender and improper character. It might even be supposed that he was taking advan- tage of that very weakness which the frail one avowed, in order to obtain the gratification of his own selfiah desires. Jocelyn, noble-hearted as he was generous and high-minded, was nevertheless man of the world enough to appreciate alike the celicacy and the awkwardness of his position, in “the light which we have just been pointing it out. Thus was it that he forbore from giving expression to the sympathy which he in reality experiencel to- wards thie wronged and afflicted lady. “When I could no longer cogeeal from myself this truth which I have just avowed, she proceeded at length, but still with half-averted countenance, on which the blood mantled and then fled as abruptly again beneath the olive hue of her com- plexion—"I resolved to seek him who is the father of the babe which I bear in my bosom. All hesita- tion vanished; my mind was made up. Thinking no more of revenge, but only of love and tenderness, I took my departure from Paris. This was in the beginning of March—and I proceeded into Ger- many. Being rich, Mr. Loftus~although you find me living in this close seclusion now—! had ample means to enable me to prosecute the search which I had undertaken. It was a search after a lover—and I had resolved if I succeeded in finding him, I would say, ‘Relurn not to your own home in Eng- land ; renounce it, abandon it for my sake! Was it not your own proposition at the time of my fall that t { THE MYSTERIES OF THE COURT. I should dare public opinion.to become your mistress openly? Now then do I call upon you to accept me in that light. It will cost you no pang $9 desert o wife whom you do not love for a mistress whom you have declared you ddore. And, behold! I will place my fortune at your feet; all that I possess shall be yours. There is no sacrifice that J am not prepared to mahe for you, sv that when my astyet unborn in- fant comes inio the world tt may at least be received in the arms of.a father ?’—In the hope of finding him to whom I might thus address myself, did I travel throughout Germany ; but I could obtain no trace of him. I passed into Italy. It was now the beginning of April; and at Milan I succeeded in hearing tidings of an individual exactly answering hig description, but passing under a false name. Several months, I learnt, had elapsed since he was there; and on prosecuting my inquiries I discovered, beyond all pogsibility of mistake, that he was sedu- lously pursuing a rival with his addresses, Yes— he had been seen ‘Sy domestics belonging to the hotel at which he resided———But wherefore need I enter into these particulara? Suffice it to say that I obtained the fullest proof of his infidelity; but following up the clue, I came on to Geneva. A fortnight only has elapsed since I arrived in thie city, where, if additional evidence were wanting, I discovered enough to convince me that inatead cf abandoning myself to dreams of hope and love, ’tis for me to think either of despair or of vengeance. The unsettled state of Fiance and Germany, in consequence of the return of Napoleon from Elba, has detefmined me to fix my abode for the present at Geneva. Here at least does tranquillity continue ; and it does not appear probable that the peace of the little Republic will be disturbed, rfu:matter what turn events may take in the north of Europe. | mustcpform you that on arriving at Geneva a fort- night ago, and on discovering those additional proofs of my noble lover’s infidelity to which I have alluded, I was acized with so sudden and alarming an illness that it became necessary to summon medical aid. Dr. Maravelli was sent for; and of course he perceived my condition. To him did I make known my intention of remaining at Geneva; and I revealed to him enough of my history to enable him to understand that I sought seclusion fora few months while passing through the crown- ing ordeal of my disgrace. Accident bad thus thrown me in the way of the very man who could provide me with the accommodation I required ; for it ap- pears that the doctor’s house is one of retirement for ladies to whom such temporary seclusion be- comes a matter of convenience or necessity. His chief patronesses, or rather patients, are foreign ladies who come hither from different parts, and even from distant quarters of Europe, to conceal their shame and endure its consequences beneath his roof, Now may you understand, Mr. Loftus, where- fore y6u find me in such a place. You can likewise comprehend why the doctor appealed to me for my consent ere he departed from the usual routine of his honsehold arrangements by receiving you as a lodger. Had there been other ladies dwelling here at the present time, he would not perhaps have offered thus to accommodate you; but J am at this moment the only unhappy being of my sex located under sucli circuinstance® within these gloomy walls.” ny rn a aaa OE EE, a OG re EE Er ee Ee OE EE Ce Again Mrs. Roberts paused; and for upwards of | COUN AOC) cS) CO