The Mysteries of London, Vol. IV — page 57: what you’re looking at

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00 period when I must have been about five years old; and then I was accustomed to call a good woman whose name was Watts, my mother. But she died— I forget precisely under what cirenmstances; and then, when I was nearly six, I was taken care of by a gentleman named Rainford. Yes—and he had a beautiful wife named Tamar:—and this Tamar was the sister of the Countess of Ellingham. Mr. Rainford and Tamar were very kind to me, J remember well; but I was not with them long. And now there is so much confusion in my thoughts—so much bewilder- ment in my reminiscences touching that particular period in my life, that I scarcely-know how to render my ideas continuously accurate. I fully recollect, however, that he whom I grew aceustomed to call by the endearing name of ‘ father’— although I knew that he was not my father—I mean this Mr. Rainford,—I recollect, I say, that he was absent for some weeks, and that I pined after him, Then Tamar would re- assure me with promises of his return ;—but I remem- ber that she used to weep very much—oh ! very much! One day she put on black clothes—and she was going to dress me in mourning also; but she cried bitterly, and threw the dark garments away. Next I recollect being taken to the house of Mr. de Medina, where I saw Isther for the first time—that Esther who is now Countess of Ellingham. The happiness I experienced that day dwells in my mind; for 1 recollect as well asif it were but yesterday, that all Tamar’s sorrow had sud- denly disappeared, and that she gave me the most ear- nest promisesthat should soonsee Mr. Rainford again.* And I did behold him again soon—but it was at sore town in France, whither I was taken by Mr. de Medina and his two daughters.t Then we all travelled in a post-chaise and four—and we repaired to Paris, where I remember that the Earl of Ellingham and Jacob Smith joined us.J Next we went to Havre-de-Grace—I re- member it was that town, because I have seen it since; and there Mr. de Medina, Esther, and the Earl of Ellingham left us—Mr. Rainford, Tamar, Jacob Smith, and myself going on board of aship.§ he were not very long at sea, but the next incident which I re- member was travelling alone with Tamar to London, "here we took up our abode at the country-seat of Mr. ae Medina.|| That was at Finchley. We never went out, J remember—but kept close to our own room, Ksther and Mr. de Medina frequently visiting us. How long we lived in this manner I cannot recollect: but now my mind settles with horror on the never-to- be-forgotten lamentation which, child as I was, struck horror to my soul as it echocd through the dwelling! For Mr. de Medina and Esther had suddenly learnt that Tamar—the good, kind Tamar—who had been absent a considerable time that day, was foully and brutally murdered. Oh! how I cried—how bitterly I wept: but if I asked any questions—which I must naturally suppose that I did—they were not answered, or were answered vaguely. Yes—all particulars were earcfully kept from me;—and this was doubtless no- thing more than a mere matter of prudence—for I was but a child of between six and seven! Mr. Rainford now came back to live at Finchley ; but how unhappy he was! I remember well one evening—a very few days only after the dreadful death of her whom I was wont to call ‘my mamma’—that Mr. Rainford, after * See Chapter LIX. * + See Chaptar LXIY. $ Sce last paragraph cf Chapter LXY. 4 § Sec Chapter LAXIX. : { This was when Rainford quitted the packet-snip at Qnernzey, and commenced his career as the Blackamoor. THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON. Sg a long conversation in whispers with Lord Efhngnam, suddenly turned towards me—caught me up in ms armus—and covered me with kisses. Yes—that mei- dent has ever remained indelibly impressed upor my memory!* It was followed very soon by ‘Tamar’s funeral; and almost immediately afterwards . was sent to a school at a great distance—for 1 remember that Mr. de Medina and Esther themselves took me there, and that we travelled all day in a post-chaise. Ah! and now I recollect too—yes—it flashes to my mind, that before they left me they charged me never to mention the name of Rainford at the school ;—for my own name was at that time Charles Watts. For three years did I remain there, Mr. de Medina and Esther frequently visiting me, even after she had become the Countess of Ellingham. Every six months 1 went home to Finchley for the holidays, and found Mr. Rainford always staying at Mr. de Bedina’s house, and always ready to receive me with kindness. Then Mr. de Medina died; and we all went into mourning forhim. Ireturned to school for another year; and when between ten and eleven I was suddenly sent for home—that is, to the manor-house at Finchley, which Mr. Rainford had continued to occupy after Mr. de Medina’s death. But instead of secing Mr. Rainford, as I had expected, I was taken into the presence of a gentleman and a lady, neither of whom I had ever beheld before. These were Mr. Hatfield and Lady Georgiana!” Here the young man paused in his meditations, as if to fix all his poweis of thought with as much in- tensity as possible upon that era of his life whence dated as it were a new existence. But his ideas came rushing in upon his soul with such overwhelming force, as literally to hurry him alone; and, obedient tothe current of continuous and self-linking reflections he thus proceeded in that silent history which he was repeating to himself :— ‘and what were my first impressions on entering into the presence of Mr. Hatfield and Lady Georgiana ? I scarcely know now—for I remember that the lady snatched me to her bosom—folded me in a fond em- brace—covered me with kisses—and even wept over me. It was the first time I had ever scen her, to my recollection. Mr, Hatfield then embraced me in his turn, and with as much fervour as if he bad been the Mr. Rainford whom I had expected to meet and to behold! I was then, as 1 just now reckoned, between ten and cleven when all this happened; and it struck me—I recollect it well—that there was a considerable likeness between Mr. Rainford and Mr. Hatfield :—but then Mr. Rainford had light hair, and Mr. Hatfield black,—Mr. Rainford had reddish whiskers, and those of Mr. Hatfield were dark as jet. Yes: those were my ideas at the time; but I suppose that they were the offspring of a delusion. Nevertheless, when I call to mind the features of that Mr. Rainford who was so good to me in my infancy, it even seems now that I can recollect a resemblance between them and the countenance of my own father such as it now is. Still, this is most probably mere: fancy ;—~and I wish to arrive at truths, not indulge in idle speculations. Well, then—to go back to that intervicw,—that first inter- view between myself and those who have since turned out to be my parents,—I can call to mind each look they bestowed upon me—each word they uttered. They told me that they were my uncle and my {ant a * Sce first paragraph, second column, page 23, of this Volume of the Second Series. i EConnicloooks (SO)