The Mysteries of London, Vol. IV — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bhs crete ite hs Mee So ee —_—_——_- Or le — THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON. got on the plind side of she, and began a pitching into abe all kind of gammon,—calling his-self a_ chosen yessel, and telling her how she would be sartain a of going to heaven if we on'y Jet him have the fun : to Mcp business as 2 preacher. [e swore ee a CUP - “\ewvas a-dying to hear him in the pulpit: the airistocracy ~. | Ly missus to be pew-opener; and and so he persuades \+5._., Wer———, ov Pit pits self a Melee “ea WF Tull he gammons me to catl inh" “A what?” exclaimed Commissioner Sneesby. “An Elder, sir,” observed Mr. Bulliwell: for it is to be remarked that when Judges at Westminster or Commissioners in Portugal Street cannot understand any thing—or affect not to do so—the counsel are always prepared to give them an explanation ;—yet when these counsel become Judges or Commissioners in their turn, they grow just as opaque of intellect and as slow of comprehension as those whom they were once accustomed to enlighten. “Well—go on, man,” said Commissioner Sneesby, addressing himself to the opposing creditor. - «Well, my lud,” proceeded Mr, Chubbley, “that there sniggering feller come over us all in sich a vay vith his blessed insinivations, that we all thought him a perfect saint; and we was glad to vipe off the dust of sich a man’s shoes, as the sayin’ is. So I goes to my friend Cheesewright, the grocer, and I says, says I, ‘Cheesey, my boy, you must be a Helder, too.’ so Cheesewright axcs what a Helder is; and when I tells him that it’s to purside over a chapel in which a reglar saint holds forth, and that all Helders is booked for the right place in t’ other world, he says, says he, ‘ Chnbbley, my boy, tip us your fist; and I’m your man for a Helder too.’” : “ And now tell the Jearned Commissioners what this business has to do with your, opposition to the Insol- ryent’s discharge,” said Mr. Bulliwell, seeing that the bench was growing impatient. “Vy, my luds,” continued Chubbley, scratching his head, “that there insinivating chap gets Cheesey to lend him his acceptance for thirty pounds, and he comes to me and gets me to write my name along the back on it—nand so he gets it discounted, and leaves us to pay it.” SIere Mr. Joshua Sheepshanks held up his hands and groaned alond—as if in horrified dismay at the construction put upon his conduct. “ Silence, Insolvent!” exclaimed the usher, fero- ciously. “« And now, Mr. Chubbley,” resumed Mr, Bulliwell, “ what answer did you obtain from the Insolvent when you stated to him that you had heard certain reports which made you anxious to receive security for the rent of the chapel, the forty pouncs, and the amount of the bill for which you were liable?” Ta said as how that the chapel had n’t succeeded as he thought it wonld have done—that he’d been disappinted — and that me and Cheesewright must Lave patience.” 6 And when you told him that you end Mr. Cheese- wnght would not wait any longer—what did he say?” “TIe said we was a generation of wipers.” « And*when you put him into prison? ” | Te sent for me, and said J mustn't hope to be paid in this world; but as I’d Jaid up for myself a treasure in heaven, he expected me to let him out of quod for nothink.” There was a general titter in which bench and bar ‘oined; and the only demure countenances present were those of the creditor who was done, and Mr, Sheepshanks who had done him, In fact this pions tar ge ce A OT I I IC A Ne gentleman was 0 OV his position, anguish of his spirit, Jericho and fell amongst thieves. allfte erl { er a 31 ieee ee, ee ercome by the unpleasantness of that he compared Limself, in the religious to the man whe went down Silence being again restored, two ** “ creditors were examined in their’ er opposing dence went to prove that *° .tarns aud their evi- Sethi, Joshua Sheepshanks had obtained from them a quantity of goods under such very questionable pretences, that he might think him- self exceedingly fortunate in having been sent to the King’s Bench instead of to Newgate. The opposition having arrived at this stage, Mr. Bulliwell proceeded to address the Court in a long and furious speech based upon the testimony that had been given against the Insolvent. The agreeable appella- tions of “sanctimonious hypocrite,” ‘ double-faced ranter,” “ wnprincipled trader in pious duplicities,” and such like terms, were freely applied to Mr. Joshua Sheepshanks in the course of this oration. The learned gentleman dwelt bitterly—but not one atom more severely than the subject deserved—upon the rascally scoundrelism which is practised by thase persons who are denominated “saints; ” and he concluded a rather eloquent speech by praying the Court to express its sense of the Insolvent’s criminality by remanding him for as long a period as the Act of Parliament woulc allow. When called upon for any thing he might have tc say in his defence, Mr. Sheepshanks applied a white handkerchief to his eyes; and, after shaking his heag solemnly for severnl moments, he revealed his lugu- brious countenance once more—purposely elongating it until he fancied he had tortured himself into as impressive a pitch of misery as one could wish to be- hold. He then began a tedious and doleful disserta- tion upon the “vanity of carthly things”—marvelleg that his opposing creditors should “ prefer the filthy lucre to the welfare of their immortal souls” —declare¢ that when he first went amongst them he found then. “Jamentably benighted,” but that he had “at one time brought them toa state of grace”—complained that they had treated him as if he had been “a vesse, of wrath,” whereas he flattered himself that he was in ‘most savoury state of godliness”—hinted rather significantly that he looked upon his present predica- ment asa “ glorious martyrdom in the good cause”— and wound up with an earnest prayer to the Commis- sioners that they would not be “ moved by the men of Belial against him,” but that even as “heaven tempered the wind to the shorn Jamb,” they would modify their judgment according to his lamentable condition. To this speech, delivered in the most approved nasal twang of the dissenting pulpit, and with many doleful moans and frightful cantortions, Commissioner Snecesby listencd with exemplary patience: so, indeed, did his Jearned brother-judge—but in this latter case it was with the eyes shut. The moment, however, tho harangue was brought to an end, the eyes alluded to opened slowly and gazed rather vacantly around; but with judicial keenness, they speedily comprehended the exact stage of the proceedings; and the possessor of tne sleepy optics forthwith began to consult with his coadjutor in solemn whispers. Their conversation ran somewhat in the ensuing manner :— “It is getting on for one o'clock, and I begin to feel quite faint,” said the somniferous Commissioner. “A chopanda glass of sherry will do us each good,” observed Mr. Sneesby. Enlliwell does make such long-winded speeches!” ne a CT IT LLC (CO)