The Mysteries of London, Vol. IV — page 344: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| | | | | , ~~ ee SSS ee eee THE XYSTORIES OF LONDON. bic exuntenanee altogether was asignoble, as vulgar, anid nr unintellectual as ever served as an index to ascr‘id. grorelling soul. His dress was of tho fi:shy lind which belongs partly to the upstart or sortene, and partly to the swell-mob’s-man. IIo were 2 bluo dress-coat, a gaudy waistcoat, and larve loose trousers hollowed at the iustep so as to te shaped to the polished leathern boot. A pro- fucion of jewellery decorated his person;—a thick cold chain, with a large key, depended to his wateh—his worked shirt was fastened with diamond end blue enamel studs3;—and his dirty hands were covered with costly rings, which appeared as ill- placed upon the clnomsy, grimy fingers as pearls would be round the neck of a pig. “Such was the individual in whose presence I found mveclf; and had J not been at the time in girl a desperate staty of mind that J was eager to clutch at a straw, I should at once havo seen throuch the man and his system, But I reassured myself with the adage which teaches that we Flould never judge by outward appearances; and it Sashed to my mind that many men remarkable for the brilliancy of their intellect, were far from Leing preporsessing in ecitlfer person, manners, or address, Moreover, I never had partaken in the shameful, unjust, and absurd prejudices which too many of my fellow-csuntrymen entertain in respect to the Jews; and therefore the mere fact of this air, Surtces being a membcr of the Hebrew raco produced on my mind no unfavourable impression ‘with regard to him. “Pras be seated,’ said the medical gentleman, with a tene and manner which I at the time mis- took for professional independence, but which I have since discovered to be the rulgar insolence of nn ignorant, self-sufficient upstart. I took a chair in compliance with the invitation given; and when he lind gented himself at his desk, ho extended his dirty but jewel-bedizened paw, saying, ‘ Vill you obleege me vith yer card?’—I did as requested ; bat not without a little hesitation, for I had hoped to avoid giving my name and addrees.—‘ Ah! [ see,’ said Mr. Surtees, ina musing tone, as he examined the card: ‘Mr. Sacdonald,’ he continued, reading myname, ‘Dy the vay, air you any relation to the Marlkiss of Burlington? ’cos his family name is the fame as your’n.’—I replied that I was not a relative of the nobleman mentioned.—‘ Vel], ft don’t sin- nify,’ proceeded Mr. Surtees. ‘The Markiss {fs a hescellent friend of mine. He lays under a eight of hobligations to me. He como to me in the first hinstance vith a constitootion £0 yeared out and slinttered that no medical carpenter in all Hingland could hare mended it up except me. But in the course of a foo weeks & putt him as right as a trivets; and now he’d gosthrough fire and vater to sarre me. It on’y cost him acouple of thousand pounds to get quite cured; and that was cheap tnow, ’erving knows! Bat how comed vou to call upon me this mornin’? Were it in consekvenco of having perooged von of my medical vorks®? Ah! them sells vell, them docs! Or were it ’cos yon seed my adwertise- ment in tlio noospapers f’—I was so completcly be- wildered by this outpouring of execrable English and vile grammar, that for somo moments I was utterly unable to answer tho questions put to me. Was it possible that this coarse, ignorant, and self- cumicient vulgarian conld be on eminent medical nithority—the autbor of valuable publications—tho 339 celebrated surgeon whom tho extracts from news« papers* quoted in his advertisement, spoke of so highly? I was astounded. But again did hope blind mo to what the manreally was: again did I reassure myself by the reflection that Mr. Surtecs might be an excellont surgeon, although he was a miserable grammarian; and J accordingly recovered my sclf-possession sufficiently ta inform him that I had called in consequence of reading his advertise- ment in the newspapers, “The doctor seemed pleased at my answer, and immediately exclaimed, ‘Vell, sir, and vot a blessin’ itis that people do read adwertisements: 'cos vy ? they gets at the knoy'edgea of hominent mediklo prektishoners, which has dewoted their lives to the hart of ealing all kinds of diseases. You sec before you, sir,’ he continued, in a pompous tone, and with { ® It may seem astonishing how any respectable jozrnals conid be induced to lend themselves to such disgraceful puf- fery: but we will give our readera some little ¢xplanation upon the subject. ‘tic fact is that the quacks pay In the first Instance fur the insertion of the pnffs as ‘“ psragraph-adyver- tisernents,” and then qnote them as being the cdStorial opinions of the newspapers fn which they are thus inserted { We qnote from some of the quack-advertlsements a few spc- cimens of theses “al caplandum” notices :— “The task of preparing and producing the work entitled - &#@ a of by Metsra #8 # ©, though apparcutly not one of magnitndc, demands a mostintimate acqnaintance with the mysteries of a profession of the highest character. To say that the author has produced a volume which cannot be otherwiteconsidercd than as atreasure, and a blessing to the community, 18 not saying too much; and being written by a duly qnatificd medical practitioner, its pages give cridenco of the results of much personal investigation, and great re- scaiches In the study of medicine. In a word, the work has merits which develope no superficial attainments, and we cordially and most earnestly recommend It for general perusal, - — Weekly Chroniele.” '*To the gay and thoughtless wo trust this little work will gerve asa beacon to warn them of the danger attendant upon the too rash indulgence of thelr passions; whilst to some it may serve a3 4 monitor inthe hour of temptation, and to the afflicted asa sure puide to )ealth.—Chroniele.” ‘Their long experience and reputation fs tho patient's rpuarantee, avd well deserves for the work its immense circu- lation.— Lira." “This isa medical publication, ably written, and developes the treatment of a classof painful maladies which has too long been the prey of the illlterate and the designing.— United Service Geretie.” “ The author of this singularand talented work is a tepally qualified medical man, who has hed considerable experience in the treatment of the various disorders arising from the follics of carly indiscretion. The engravings demonstrate tho consequcnecs of excesses, and, by its perusal, many questions may be eatisfactorily replied to that admit of no appeal, cren to the most confidential friend.—£ra.” Toexplain moro fully still the proceedings of the quacks and the artfaluees of quackery, we refer our readers to the Weelly Dispatch of Sunday, July 2; and at tho bottom of a colninn (not in the regular advertising dopartment) will be found the ensuing advertisement :— “CADVERTIBCMENT J—Holloway's Piilsanexecilent Remedy for Indigestion, Biious and Liver Complaizts.—All painful and distressing sensations arising from thes: complaints (which arc too well known to sufferers to require a descrip- tion here of their symptoms) may be casily removed by a few doses of this inestimable medicine ; for snchisits effleacy, that the most debilltated constitutions are effectually strengthened, and the uversfon to motton overcome, thus giving buoyancy to the spirits, creating an appetite, and promoting digestion. At this seaton, when cpidemlcs are ro prevalent, these pills should be taken, a3 they surpass cvery other remedy asa preventative of dlsorders, cven of the most malignant kind. Sold by all Drugpists, and at Profesgor Holloway’s Establish- roeat, 244, Strand, London.” | This advertisement was of course duly pald for: bnt Mr. Holloway may now, Sf he choose to do so, quote the Dispater as having recommended the cficecy of his medicines to “strengthen the most debilitated constitutions ;” and tho public, trusting to auch a powerful and honest authority as tho Dispatch, will bo induced to purchase the pills. Our readcrs can now comprehend how the medica! yaacls obtain reozevs of their obscene books. { aS a (C(O) (C DOO SS (SO)