Her Faithful Knight — page 215: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Shadow on the Window. 211 “Don’t dear!” she whispered. “Don’t make plans for the future with mein them. And don’t go without things any more that I may have them. I have been thinking only about myself and my sorrows and disappointments fora long time. But last night as I lay awake, I seemed suddenly to see things as they are, and I left off crying for myself to think about you. I know I have been dread- ful in my temper lately, and have seemed ungrateful and unloving, but you don’t know how difficult it is to be pa- tient under that worrying pain in my head. ‘‘And there is another reason why I have been irritable —a secret I have to confess to you, Dolly. For weeks past, when you have had to leave me in the evenings and I couldn’t sleep, I hated to think, I have every now and then slipped out and bought some laudanum, a very little at a time, from one or two different chemists, and I have mixed it in some port and drunk it off, and for two or three hours I have been able to sleep. Even when I woke the pain seemed dulled, but all day long I have found my- self growing more nervous, irritable and disagreeable. There, trow I have confessed, Dolly dear; and you can prevent me from ever doing it again and take away the store of laudanum I have by me. I can’t bear to think of deceiving you when vou are half-killing yourself working for me. But do remember I am not strong like you, strong in character znd in mind, I mean. I can’t bear pain, or loneliness, cr dullness, or horrid thoughts; and losing my prettiness makes me so miserable. And—Ser- gius must be fearfully wicked, I know—but do you think he would come and see me if he knew that I am dying?” Tears were rolling down Dorothy’s face as she raised it to her sister’s. or. “Don’t think of him, my dearest,” she murmured in a half-strangled voice, “I told you of the letter I saw—say- ing that he was in America—don’t you remember ?” EOmiGcboo cS (G(0)