The Grinder Papers — page 259: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

254 THE GRINDER PAPERS. And that fetches me tu picturs, and, arter all, picturs is my subject. : You see the congregation was extremely took up with Mr. Thumper (while it lasted), and about Christmas time it was con- sidered appropriate fur tu donate him a token o’ esteem. There was a private meetin’ tu Joel Burdock’s house, fur tu decide what it had orter be. Deacon Plunket was the first tu speak. Sez he, ‘‘ Brothern and sistern : We've met tugether fur a pe- cooliarly pleasant reason. ‘Near as I can calkerlate we've col- lected about a hundred dollars, and the objeck is tu donate a Christmas gift to our pastor. Now, the question is, what shall it be?” , Up jumps Mr. Burdock. Sez he, ‘‘ Beg pardon fur inter- ruptin’, but ef the cheer will permit, I beg tu remark how’t we hain’t took the report o’ the committee.” You see Mr. Burdock had given considerable, and wanted it knowed. ‘Very true,” sez Deacon Plunket. ‘‘Now, Mr. Peach, you're secretary, you go ahead and read out the report.” Up jumps Mr. Peach. Sez he, ‘‘ Ladies and gentlemen Sez Mr. Burdock, ‘‘ You ain't tu make a speech. Your juty y) is tu read the reports.” ‘“‘Lor’,” sez Mr. Peach, ‘‘I was only a-sayin’ howt I was about tu read ’em,.” ‘‘Wery well,” sez Mr. Burdock, ‘‘go ahead.” | ‘““The committee appointed fur tu collect,” sez Mr. Peach, ao’ tu be stopped by nuthin’, ‘‘has succeeded beyond their ex- comicboo