The Grinder Papers — page 249: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘i THE GRINDER PAPERS. ‘(Well,” sez he, ‘‘I’m a-comin’, Who'd a thunk it? But unpleasantnesses 0’ this natur’ dus allez seem tu arise on picnics. Four chillen was drownded last occasion o’ merrymakin’, and Mr. Sproozie he broke his arm.” | Then he waddled away, and Mr. Dodge, who was a lean, long-favored critter, stalked arter him, wrapped up in a travelin shawl. The rest o’ the picnic, both o’ the men and wimmin sect, fol- Jered on. ‘‘Now,” sez the dominy, when we arrived tu his assistance, ‘‘Tand this here good lady has both tried our powers 0’ persua- sioh onto this person, who seems tu be misguided, ef he ain't deranged, and he insists on continnerin’ tu perpetrate his rash act. I’ve enjoyed a spell o’ rheumatics myself, so ‘twouldn't be correct fur me tu go arter him, but there’s no reason why you shouldn't. Seein’ how't ladies is present, youd better wrap him up in your travelin’ shawl, Brother Dodge, afore you fetch him ashore. So the two walks intu the water, and arter considerable trouble, fotches out the susinside, kivered up, all but his head. I stood ready fur tu ask the direction o the Humanitary Serciety, and send fur my medal. They placed him on the bank, and everybody came and looked at him. Then I regret fur tu say he used the awfulest o’ per- fane langwidge, and called the dominy an old fogy, an? wanted tu know why he poked his nose intu what didnt consarn him, ‘Twas my Christian duty,” sez the dominy. ‘‘And now, ” comicbooks.com