The Grinder Papers — page 125: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

120 THE GRINDER. PAPERS. * ef he’d been Apolly hisself} she couldn't a had a bigger idee o’ his powers o' fascernation. I used ter ollers go tu tea tu Miss Colonel Katermount’ s when the colonel was out, ef I could, cause, ef you coughed or blowd yer nose, she thought ‘twas a secret signal, and ef you spoke tu him she got mad, and ef you didn’t she considered ‘twas tu de- ceive her, and you talked all the more behind her back. She was pertickler jealous 0 me, ‘cause when we was both young gals the colonel used to be quite intimate tu our house, and she knowed that, ef Id been a mind tu, I could ha’ been: Miss Colonel Katermount. ‘‘Did he propose ?”’ Well, not exactly. But I know he would ef I’d encoursaged him. Didn't though. Whenever I seed him comin’ tu offer me his attentions, I used tu stick up my nose and prance away like a queen. Well, they’d been married ec vears or so, when we had a new minister over our church. The old one hevin’ evinced a dispersition to be a Universaller, went so fur as tu say he didn't know but even old -tipsy Jenkins, that was found dead to the tavern one night, might git tu heaven, and that ‘twarn’t Chris- tian-like tu be sartin o’ the ultimate destination o’ nobody. Con- sequently, we hed another in his place, and in ee time we give him a donation party. Brother Jonathan and me was a goin’. He took a cheese, and I took a caliker dress patron fur the minister’s wife; and bein’ ’twas quite a distance, we went intu the waggin. Lots 0’ comicbooks.com —