Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 154: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ELLEN PERCY; OR, THE —_— I was enraged—I was half maddened ; and yet I was bewildered. What on earth could he mean ? There was a seriousness in his tone, an earnest- ness in his look, and a conviction in his manner, which forbade the idea that he was bantering me. “Tt is for you to explain yourself,” I cried : * for I have no explanation to give—and all these proceedings are utterly incomprehensible! But no!” I ejaculated ; “I will neither wait to re- ceive explanations nor to give them! I will de- part! Ineed not the use of your carriage — I will go hence on foot!” Thus speaking, I turned towards the door, to which I was nearer than he. For an instant I thought—exultingly thought—that my freedom was not molested ; and my fingers grasped the handle of the door. But the next moment he was by my side ; and placing his foot against that door, he said with a strange mingling of gentle- ness and firmness, “ We cannot part thus, Miss Percy. I am incapable of wilfully and without previous aggravation committing an outrage upon the feelings of a lady: but my own pride and sense of dignity will not suffer that I should per. mit myself to be outraged, duped, and probably laughed at.” “ Good heavens! what do you mean?” I ex- claimed, now cruelly affrighted and bewildered. “ Listen to me, sir! A young friend of mine lies dangerously ill— perhaps at the point of death! I must go to her i He shook his head; and again that ironical smile, but yet so calm and polished—a smile of the gentlest sarcasm—wavered upon his lips. “ T regret to perceive,” he said, in a tone of real sorrow, “that a young lady of whom I entertained a different opinion, should have recourse to such poor and paltry duplicity. But it will not serve your turn !” * Do you not believe me, sir?’ I indignantly demanded. ‘‘ What reason have you to think that I am deceiving you?” “Alas, every reason!” replied the Baronet, “In the first place, if this tale, so readily in- vented, happened to be true, you would not have been at the theatre at all.” “ But the tidings were only brought to me at the very last !” I passionately exclaimed. “ Then you would have at once gone home from the theatre to the sick couch of your friend,” re- joined Sir Hugh Ward, “ and you would not have come hither.” * Oh, heavens! where is the key,” I cried, “ to the elucidation of this odious mystery P” “T previously knew much of human nature,” said the Baronet, mournfully shaking his head ; “but I had yet to learn that to be an actress was to be altogether an actress, and that the ar- tificidlitios displayed upon the stage were to be carried permeatingly through the circumstances and intercourses uf private life. I am not natu- rally a bad man—though perhaps not over nice nor particular in some things: but you begin to make me think so ill of human nature that I shall end by not caring if 1 become as bad as all the rest !” I listened with a species of shuddering dismay to this speech. It was not the language of a man who was indulging in a cruel and prolonged tyes anette states MEMOIRS OF AN ACTRESS. 141 system of banter: it was that of one who was evidently speaking from the depth of his convic- tions. I was smitten with a sense alike of the impropriety and inutility of displaying passion in the presence of such a man; and controlling my agitated feelings as well as I was able, I said, “ You misjudge me most cruelly and outrageously ! Explain the grounds upon which you build such odious theories and apply them to me!” “Oh, Miss Percy, this is really going too far !” ejaculated the Baronet; “and I begin to lose all patience. But no!—TI will be calm:” and he was instantaneously calm again. “ When I look in your countenance,” he went on to say, “I really can scarcely bring my mind to conceive And yet you are an actress !” : “Ah! is this meant for a taunt?” I ejaculated, —“a taunt thrown out against one who in order to earn her bread, uses the little talent which God has given her—and who has always so used it that the breath of scandal has never yet dared ——” But I could not finish the sentence ; and I burst into tears, “Ah, you well-nigh disarm me!” exclaimed Sir Hugh Ward. “But yet, when I think of | everything, these tears cannot be genuine !” “Sir,” I suddenly ejaculated, dashing away those tears, “there is a mystery to be cleared up; and even though my friend be perishing, my re- putation must not be trampled in the mire. Say, why did you expect me?—for that you did expect me here is only too evident,” “Why did Il expect you? Oh, Miss Percy !”— and ence more that mild gentlemanly. smile of half-subdued irony passed over his lips; “ will you again descend to subterfuge and artifice? If you had intended to add to your treasures the offering I sent—to laugh at me for my pains—and thereby punish me for my temerity, you need not have come hither now: you might have kept my offer- ing and treated me with silent contempt! You would then have only incurred the imputation of a mean dishonesty and a detestable shabbiness. But as it is, IT have a right to think that you came hither with the intention of yielding to my over- ture—but that suddenly seized with some unac. countable whim—perhaps prudery—perhaps dis- gust for my person for I can assure you that I am not particularly vain, and I know that aver- sions are often thus abruptly taken——but it was under some such influence as this, I say, that you all in a moment repented of the step you had taken, and you are now studying to beat as decent a retreat as possible!” Again did I listen in the stupor of bewilder- ment to a speech which evidently emanated from the deep convictions of the man. I was fearfully mystified: it seemed as if there were a horrible tangled web to be unwoven, but I knew not where to take up the first thread of tho complicated skein. Allin a moment my thoughts settled upon one particular point of his speech; and I ejacu- lated, “ You allude toan offering ? Good heavens, what offering did you ever make to me,-or that I ever accepted?” “What!” he cried, as if likewise struck by an idea; “is it possible that you may not haye re. ceived it? But no! no! it could not be inter. cepted by another!—for if so, you would not have come hither now !” Sr ee cass Ge Gey ee 0)(0\0) SS (EC)