Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 66: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a ELLEN PERCY; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF AN ACTRESS. 53 “Do not doubt what I tell you,” he continued. “You know the man whom you have met—you 32> have seen the company which he keeps * And, Oh! how is it possible,” I exclaimed, “that I find Captain St. Clair in such com: pany ?” “A man goes everywhere,” was his coldly given answer; “ and his reputation suffers not. Buta woman—Ah! with her it is very different !” The truth of this declaration at once struck me most forcibly ; and, Oh! how bitterly, bitterly did I repent the zealous haste with which I had un- dertaken Melissa Harrison’s errand. * Oh, Captain St. Clair,” I exclaimed; “ I have hitherto given you credit for the most generous feelings—for the loftiest magnanimity! Do not, do not misjudge me! Oh, in your own heart you know that I am incapable But Ah! you can satisfy yourself—you may learn what has brought me hither, even if you be not already aware of it !” Melissa Harrison’s letter was open on the table, where Colonel Bellow had tossed it down: I snatched it up and handed it to St. Clair. “Tt is unnecessary,” he said: “I know full well, Ellen, that you came hither with no evil pur- pose———” “Oh!” I ejaculated: and I was about to give a wildly fervent expression to my gratitude—when I stopped short: I was transfixed with dismay— the blood was turned to ice in my veins, as I en- countered the deep fiendish wickedness of the look which sprang up to St. Clair’s features. “ Yes,” he continued, “I know the purity of your motives: but the world will judge far other- wise! Now listen to me. As there’s a heaven above us, I have loved you—I still love vou as never did man love before! I hesitate not to avow that though young in years, I am old in the world’s pleasures. To all the fascinations and charms of your sex I am no stranger: but never have I encountered one who has made upon my heart the same impression as yourself. Marriage! I scorned the idea until I learnt tolove you. But to you, Ellen, i offered my hand; and I swear, as I have a soul to be saved, that I was ready to fulfil my pledge! But you refused me. I bowed my pride so low as to entreat and implore: and still you refused me. Oh! you are the first woman,” he exclaimed, with scornful bitterness, “who ever had the power of reducing my heart to despair! Yes—but it was natural; for you were the first of your sex who taught me no longer to deride the romancist’s page and the poet’s verse in which love is depicted as a deity having sway over every heart. Yes—and you were the first whose beauty cast veritable spells around me, and plunged me into that roseate dream in which one walks as it were with the senses enthralled but with the eyes open! For you, Ellen, I was prepared to make every sacrifice. I myself already worshipped _ you; and as my bride would I have held you up to the worship of the world also! Ab, and there were moments when I said to myself that the triumphs of oratory which I had as yet achieved when seeking only to gratify a comparatively idle and cold ambition, were as nothing to those which I could accomplish if the meed were to be the ap- proval of your looks and your smiles! But all these dreams did you ruthlessly destroy—all these hopes and visions did you dash to the ground !” a_i —— a St. Clair had gone on addressing me with im- passioned vehemence; and when he suddenly ceased, he began pacing to and fro in an agitated manner. I would fain have checked him: I would have implored his mercy and his forbearance: but I could not! I was stupefiec with affrizht, as well as enthralled with the indescribably absorbing interest which belonged to his powerful eloquence. There could be no doubt as to his sincerity. It was the heart that was speaking—no matter how bad the heart itself might be—through the medium of that wildly poetic language. “Oh, you rejected me!” continued St. Clair: “and you ought not to be astonished if with such a being as I am, love should have turned to hatred. But it has not as yet no, as yet it has not! Accident has this day given me the present chance: it has furnished me with one last opportunity. Oh! compel me not to speak of coercion—force me not to use the power which your own zealous indiscretion—I mean on Melissa Harrison’s behalf —has now given me!” “ Coercion — power—indiscretion ?’ I vaguely murmured, affrighted at the sense which might be attached to those words. “Oh! do you not comprehend my meaning ?” exclaimed St. Clair, literally stamping his foot with the vehemence of passion. “I love you so deeply—so desperately, Ellen, that I am prepared to resort to any means to make you mine. Yes— if the Enemy of Mankind were to rise up before me at this instant, and to demand the sacrifice of my own soul as the price which I must pay for the possession of your hand, Ellen, I would pay that price !” “Oh, this is dreadful!” I exclaimed, smitten with an awful sense of terror; and my limbs ap- peared to be giving way under me. “ Dreadful it may be—but it is not the less true!” replied St. Clair quickly: then advancing to the window, he shut it down. “ Let me depart!” I exclaimed, affrighted at a scene which appeared to forbode some terrible calamity : for I saw that St. Clair was desperate. “ Yes—go if you will!” he ejaculated. “ By heaven ! not a door shall be closed against you ! But I warn you, Ellen, that if you treat me thus I will have a signal revenge. Have I not just told you that I would sacrifice my very soul for your sake—that I would abandon all my hopes of hereafter for the bliss of the present in making you mine own? And think you therefore that such a love as this will stand upon mere nice scruples P Ob, my love is madness—it is frenzy ! —and this hour which is passing is to decide whether it is to prove for my soul a pandemonium or a paradise! Go ‘f you will: but my love shall turn to hatred ; and bitter shall be the vengeance it will wreak! Go, Ellen—refuse to become my bride—and ere the sunset of this day all the town shall know that Ellen Percy came to Colonel Bel- lew’s house at a time when he was entertaining two females whose very touch is pollution !” “ O God, to what have I exposed myself!” and I wrung my hands in despair. “Think you not, Ellen,” continued my tor- mentor, “ that it rends also my heart with agony to behold you thus afflicted? But what compas- sion have youupon me? None! none! [If you are selfish in your indifference, how much more CORNIELAOQO <S (COIN