Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 129: what you’re looking at

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a a a te et = 116 moment—and you look quite handsome enough without sending the colour to mount to those cheeks of yours. I have a few more words to say. You must be cautious how you deal with Mrs. Parks and me. We know a secret connected with your affairs nothing that you yourself know—no- thing even that you suspect—and one which per- haps it were better that you should never know. Tt is a secret, Ellen, that if whispered in your ear, would make your proud head bend—would wring the bitterest tears from your eyes, and harrow your heart. This is no empty threat. As there isa living God above us, it is the truth! Be wise therefore———” “Good heavens!” I exclaimed, in mingled hor- ror and consternation ; “ what do you mean, Mr. Parks? I beseech you to tell me! There is no- thing in the world that I have ever done the ex- posure of which could produce all these frightful effects !”” “T tell you it is nothing that you have done,” replied the lawyer: “ but still it is something that regards you most closely. It is something that you do not know nor even suspect: but I tell you, Ellen, that if it were proclaimed you would crouch down in the veriest shame “Mr. Parks,” I interrupted him, in a paroxysm of terrific anguish, “for God’s sake tell me what you mean! Thissuspense isdreadful! Leave me notinit! Iwill forgive yourself and your wife for whatsoever you may have done to me ¥ “And what have we done?” he asked ab- ruptly. “TIT have already told you,” was my response: “you would have ruined me—you would have blasted my character — you surrendered me up “Enough of all this!” he ejaculated: and even ELLEN PERCY ; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF AN ACTRESS. his arms, straining me to her own bosom, and weeping convulsively—and all this associated with some dark gloomy place Good heavens! was there any reality in the scene which, if it had ever occurred at all, must have belonged to my earliest years P Long was it ere I could subdue the agitation into which that interview with Mr. Parks had thrown me: but when I began to regain a certain degree of composure, I endeavoured to persuade myself that it was a mere idle threat invented by the unprincipled attorney for the purpose of over- awing me. YetI could not succeed in beating into my brain the conviction that it was so: it was a surmise wherein I sought to obtain a com- plete refuge from thoughts vaguely horrible, but where I only succeeded in obtaining such refuge partially. Instead of stopping, I wandered about, harassed by my reflections,—until at length I ventured to return to Hunter Street. I had been absent thence for nearly three hours; and on my return found Juliet radiant with happiness. Indeed she was so completely absorbed in the sources of her own joy, that she failed to notice there was anything extraordinary or peculiar with me; and I was by no means sorry to escape questioning and all the affectionate im- portunities of friendship. “Frederick has done everything that I asked of him!” said Juliet, hastening to meet me as I entered the room where she was previously alone. “He hesitated not a moment! Indeed it was almost of his own accord that he began writing the letter to Mr. Croft, requesting him to send the certificate. And then too, with the most genuine frankness, he showed me what he had written before he sealed the letter; and he left the letter himself for me to convey to the post. Oh, Ellen! in the midst of the terrific agitation I experienced, | how sorry,—how sorry I am that I ever for a mo. I again noticed that he looked as if he had suddenly | ment mistrusted him !” sustained a sensation of relief. “It is sufficient for you to know that you are thus far in my power; Juliet showed me the letter, which was duly addressed to “the Rev. Mr. Croft, Embledon, and therefore take heed how you at any time utter | Warwickshire;” and as I had on my bonnet and disrespectful things against Mrs. Parks and my- | shaw], I offered to go and take it to the post. self.” With these words the lawyer abruptly quitted me; and leaping into his phaeton, he was instan- taneously driven away. I leant against the railings | have done this! of a house for support: I felt as if 1 were about | to faint, until two ladies came upand kindly asked if I felt ill? Then I regained my self-possession ; and thanking them, I hurried along. What could Juliet thankfully assented; and on my way to execute the commission, I said to myself, “ Un- feignedly rejoiced am I that her husband should After all, he has been wronged by the suspicions of both of us: but heaven be thanked that those suspicions are not now jus- tified |” The reader may thus perceive that a complete Mr. Parks have meant? He had known me from | revulsion of sentiment had taken place in my my infancy—he was acquainted with all the cir-| mind in respect to Lord Frederick Ravenscliffe ; cumstances which regarded my earliest years. | and I was truly delighted to reflect that Juliet, Could it be possible that there was some stigma | though still an unacknowledged wife before the resting upon my birth? It was the first time that | world, was nevertheless the acknowledged wife of ever such a suspicion had been excited within me. | him who some eight or nine months thence might And yet if it were so, how could the knowledge | acknowledge her openly. In my own moods of thereof produce such terrible effects as those with | sadness it has ever been a relief to me to observe which he had menaced me? TI could not be held | the happiness of others; and thus, from this inci- responsible for a mother’s frailty. But while I | dent which had occurred so favourably to Juliet’s was thus reflecting, back to my memory came that | views, I derived consolation for my own spirit dim and shadowy recollection which had seemed to | which had been so wounded during the interview float in my brain like ascarcely perceptible vapour | with Mr. Parks. in a far-off horizon,—a recollection that at times On returning to Hunter Street after having had haunted me like the vague and ill-defined im- | posted the letter addressed to the Rev. Mr. Croft, pression of atroubled dream. A man fondling me | I was informed that a gentleman had called to see upon his knee, then pressing me tv his heart and | me and that he was waiting in the dining-room, sobbing bitterly—then a woman taking me from | Thither I repaired; and I found that my visitor CONNIEDOOKS Eom