The Young Duchess; or, Memoirs of a Lady of Quality — page 171: what you’re looking at

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THE YOUNG DUCHESS; OR, MEMOINS OF A LADY OF QUALITY. him an affirmative response. But I could not endure the thought of poverty—equally averse was I to the notion of toiling for my own bread. I loved to dress well, and to have leisure to attend to all the details of the toilet. The humilia- tions which had killed my mother, had by no means destroyed, but merely sobered down my own peculiar vanity. I thought that ifI could not marry a title and wealth combined, I would at least secure the latter when the opportunity - presented itself. I do not know that I actually reasonéd deliberately and coolly in this strain with myself: but these were assuredly the influences under which I acted in consenting to accompany Edward Malcolm to the altar. ‘‘ He placed me for a few months as a boarder in a highly respectable family, so that our mar- riage should not follow with indecent haste upon my mother’s funeral. He visited me occasionally ; and brought his father to be introduced. To be brief, when I was about seventeen I became Mrs. Malcolm. A year or two after our marriage the business of the mercantile firm compelled my husband to return to St. Petersburgh, with every prospect of remaining there for a lengthened period. He generously left me to decide between the alternatives of accompanying him or remain- ing in London with my father-in-law. I did not like the old man: he was severe and exacting in his conduct towards me: he lived too in a dingy old house, which though spacious and well-fur- nished, was nevertheless exceedingly gloomy ; and moreover I wanted to see the world. I there- fore at once decided upon accompanying my hus- band: and my-answer was given with a readiness which might very well be mistaken for the enthu- siasm of love. He was delighted—for he loved me devotedly ; and perhaps he beheld in me none of those faults of frivolity, vanity, and love of admiration, which I had more or less inherited from my mother, and which the clearer eyes of old Mr. Malcolm had not failed to discern. We set off for St: Petersburgh; and arriving there, were speedily established in a handsome house which my husband hired and furnished. ‘“‘' Years passed away. We had several children —but all died in their infancy with the exception of our first-born, Mildred; and her we succeeded in rearing. My husband was the kindest and best-tempered of men: he was fond and affec- tionate, without being uxorious; he was proud of his beautiful wife, without the fault of rendering himself or me ridiculous by the display of an ex- cessive admiration. He was a reasonable and a sensible man; and there was not a particle of jealousy in his disposition. Neither did I give him any cause for such a sentiment. My own principles were naturally good, and my mind only required to experience the warmth of genial influ- ences in order to develop those better qualifica- tions which had lain dormant during the period of a spoilt childhood and a girlhood’s defective education. I studied my utmost to accomplish my husband’s happiness—and perhaps all the more sedulously because I felt that I did not love him in the true sense of the term: I merely liked, esteemed, and admired him. Besides, I experi- enced a boundless gratitude towards him for the many kindnesses he heaped upon me; and mine is no ungrateful heart. Thus nothing could ex- ceed the happiness which in our married state we ———Sa ee 157 enjoyed, and the only drawbacks to which wera the loss of our children. In a pecuniary sense everything was most prosperous: my husband amassed wealth— and the death of his father, which occurred some few years after our marriage, left him the sole representative of the firm. “We were now possessed of riches; and my husband consulted me on a very important point: that is to say, whether we should continue to re- side at St. Petersburgh, or whether we should re- turn to England. I considered myself bound to pay the utmost deference to his will; and I ex- pressed myself accordingly. He then informed me that it would assuredly suit him better to re- main in Russia for three or four years longer— that certain mercantile operations which he had undertaken would then be effected—and that he should then be in a position to close his affairs in such a manner as to enable him to give up alto- gether the cares attendant upon the maintenance of a branch house in the Russian capital. In St. Petersburgh we accordingly remained, moving in the best society, and with our daughter Mildred growing up in the possession of a beauty that promised to equal if not eclipse her mother’s. At length the period arrived when my husband’s affairs were to be wound up in Russia and our preparations for departure were to commence. We had then been married exactly twenty years, and our daughter Mildred was eighteen. She had never been to England: she was educated in St. Peters- burgh—but she spoke English with the utmost fluency; and she possessed every accomplishment requisite for the adornment of a young lady of her station and prospects. She was longing to visit England; and she was looking forward with anxiety to the day when we should bid farewell to the city on the banks of the Neva, when a sudden calamity occurred which plunged us into affiiction. This was the death of my husband, who was smitten down by the lightning-stroke of apoplexy, and who having risen to all appearances in the full vigour of health in the morning, was a cold corpse at night. ‘“‘ The shock occasioned by this incident threw me upon a sick bed, where. I remained hovering between life and death for some months. Fever had supervened ; and for weeks together my senses were lost in delirium. As I began slowly to re- cover, I became conscious of the attentions which I received from my daughter; and I was assured that I had likewise to thank the venerable physi- cian whose skill, added to Mildred’s ministrations, had brought me back from the very verge of the grave. I found that in consequence of my hus- band’s sudden death the managing clerk of the London establishment had arrived in St. Peters- burgh; and he was waiting to submit to me a statement of the circumstances in which I had been left—for I should observe that my husband had made a will leaving me sole executrix. I likewise discoveredein his desk a paper recom- mending me, in case of his premature or sudden demise, to dispose of the business with the least possible delay—for which purpose I might fully trust Mr. Lea, the head clerk above alluded to. On going into my affairs with this gentleman, I found that I was left in possession of a very large fortune; and I empowered him to dispose of the London branch of the business. To be brief, Mr. Lea accomplished this matter in the course of a COMO oO Colin