The Child of Waterloo, or, The Horrors of the Battle-Field — page 275: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

272° THE CHILD OF WATERLOO. trust a man with a bad farden as was a enemy to sleeping—that I wouldn’t. Oh, Lor’! what a trouble all this here is, to be sure!” ‘‘You can swear, then, distinctly, that the prisoner at the bar is the man who aroused you from your sleep on the night in question ?” ‘“‘T believe you; only ask him. He knows it well enough. Ask ri he can’t deny it. Only look at him. Ain’t he jolly ugly 29 ‘““You gave evidence, I believe, before the local magistracy upon this subject ?” “Yes; oh! yes. Isn’t that all? I am so precious sleepy, I am. Haven’t youdone? You know he did it; what’s the use o’ bothering avy more about it? Oh! dear, what a trouble.” ‘‘T’m afraid my learned friend for the defense will trouble you more than I have. Ihave no more questions to ask you.” ‘* Well, sur.” said the counsel for the defense, ‘‘ don’t you think that sleep is one of the first things in the world ?” ‘‘ Of course I do; any fool knows that.” ‘‘ But I suppose, now, you dream sometimes, eh? I do—all sorts of comical dreams.” ** Ah! ah! so—don’t I.” “You don’t? You mean to tell me you don’t dream ?” ‘“‘No, I couldn’t think of taking so much trouble, all for noth- ing. You may dream, though, if you like. My not liking it ain’t no rule, you know.” . ‘‘Come—come; now you are only joking. You do dream sometimes. You know we all dream, occasionally. Why, no human being sleeps always without dreaming.” ‘*T ain’t going to argufy with you; it’s too much trouble. Be- sides, you seem rather a stupid-head, you do.” ‘“‘On your oath, sir,” cried the counsel, in a loud tone, “ on your oath, were you asleep or awake on the night in question, when you say you saw the prisoner at the bar ?” ‘* J didn't see the prisoner at the bar.” “* You did not ?” “No; I seed him in the piggery at the Morton Arms.” ‘‘Come—come; don’t prevaricate, sir. On your oath, I say, were you awake or asleep?” ‘* Neither.” ‘‘Qh! neither. Come—come, I thought we should have it. You hear, gentlemen of the pany that the witness upon whom the prosecution most relies admits that he was neither asleep nor awake.” ‘‘ What a crammer you are telling,” said Tom. ‘‘ You wouldn't let me goon. You asked me if [ was asleep or awake upon my oath, and I said neither, ’cos I wasn’t on my oath at all, but on a blessed bundle of straw! I tell you I seed him, so don’t bother any more. You don’t know what to say, so you’d better go to sleeR and let me go to sleep, too.” ‘*“You have been well tutored, I presume, I am inclined to think that you are more knave than fool.” ‘* Well, I don’t think you is; for I never come a-nigh such a comicbooks. com