Life — February 22, 1929 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life HOLLYWOOD, Cal.—A camera has been invented that is 150 times faster than the ordinary movie machine. [t will be used to record the married life of film stars. LL WASHINGTON—Miss Grace Abbott, Chief of the Children’s Bureau of the De- partment of Labor, gives statistics to prove that little boys do more stealing than little girls. Yes, Miss Abbott, but who eggs on the little boys? +L INDIANAPOLIS—Marjory McDaniel, three months old, has been made a mem- ber of the local W. C. T. U. That's right, ladies, catch them young—before they start thinking! aL NORTH WEYMOUTH, Mass. — Mr. Dam, of this city, sells clams. So he ad- vertises himself as “Dam The Clam Man.” Wait till the Watch and Ward Society gets wind of this! LL CHICAGO—Prof. G. E. Starr of the University of Michigan announced to the Pickle Packers’ Association that they have grown a pickle that is as shapely and beau- tful as it is delicious. “Civilized Ameri- cans demand it,” he said, aL HOLLYWOOD, Cal. — In defending the talkies, Mr. Griffith claims they are in the same position the movies were twegty-odd years ago. “And look at what people said about the movies in 1905,” he says. Look at what people say about them now, as a matter of fact, Mr. Griffith. LL GILEAD, Ind—A new Hawaiian in- strument, the cocolele, has invaded the Middle West. It is similar to the ukelele, only deeper in tone. There is no baim in Gilead! AL Llome CHICAGO — Bishop Edwin Holt Hughes of the Methodist Episcopal Church would appeal to bootleggers through advertising to “stop such business for all time and give themselves to God.” That's what their customers do. JL ATLANTIC CITY—B. T. Parsons is suing for divorce. He complains that his wife persistently ate crackers in bed. He could have put up with that, but she al- ways concluded the meal by hooting like an owl for an hour or two. a WATERLOO — Eighty-five years old, a practicing physician for sixty years and still active, is the record of Dr. Schuyler Lott of this town, the oldest practicing physician in the county. He ought to be perfect by this time. aL DETROIT, Mich.—Jean Laussier, who dropped over Niagara Falls in a rubber ball last July Fourth, says he will. jump off a new forty-six story building here for $25,000. He would be equipped with a pair of wings of his own design. Before the trick or after? aL CHICAGO—L. D. Gayton, Municipal Engineer, rose to remark at a public ban- quet, “We've got the biggest and best garbage plant in the world, and we're going to let the people know about it.” aL CAMP CURRY, Cal.—Bessie Wilson, Indian Squaw, was sentenced to jail, but she was too fat to go through the cell door. So they had to let her free. JL NEW YORK—Charles de Temple likes to see movies but he hates to buy the tickets. So he put on a fireman’s uni- form and saw free shows every day for three weeks, before he was caught. WORCESTER, Mass. — Mrs. Mae Chauncey, age 35, advertised for a hubby and got 500 replies. Unfortunately, the publicity also resurrected her husband who had deserted her years ago, and whom she thought dead, So advertising doesn't al- ways pay! aL NEW YORK—Dr. J. E. Harry, Pro- fessor of Languages in Sorbonne, lectured here on his studies in canine tongue. He claims no dog ever said “bow wow.” It is anatomically impossible for a dog to utter the sound “B. LL BARNEY, N. D.—H. W. Langseth’s beard has reached the length of 17 feet, 2 inches, which it took 77 years to attain. He tucks most of it into a bag which he carries under a waistcoat when he goes out. “A beard is the sign of a leader,” says Mr. Langseth. L WASHINGTON — Senator Pittman (Dem.) of Nevada is an ardent pen col- lector. His latest acquisition is the pen used by Vice-President Dawes to sign the Boulder dam bill. He ought to get the pen into which they put the governor of In- diana. LL SMITH CENTER, Kan. — The local press reports that James Eller, at the age of 60, retains every one of his baby teeth. Kansas dentists are bitterly denouncing him, no doubt. L SABETHA — Mrs. Anna Schurter of Sabetha, who will be ror years old her next birthday, recently used the telephone for the first time in her life. It gave her a “thrill,” she said. She must have gotten the right number. LL HIGH POINT, N. C.—N. E. Allred, 74, has not missed a single session of his Sunday-school in 48 years. comicbooks.com