Life — November 29, 1923 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

November Lay late, reading in the ybublick prints, and 2nd marking as another sign of advancing age that I do now occasionally glance at the editorials, albeit I find little in them to enlighten me or alter my point of view on the fundamentals of life, which is much the same as when I first formed it. Lord! in these talked-of times, my generation is strictly in the middle path, old enough to deplore a child with the cocktayle habit, and young enough to believe that English literature did not dic with the Victorians dia Loomis and Gwen Hamilton to luncheon with me, and not enough sherry, as usual, in the crabmeat, so I did call for Katie to hand round the bottle, in hopes that cook would mark it, there being some points that arbitration can never settle. And Gwen did tell us how her new infant was born twenty minutes before mid- night by daylight ing time, leaving her in some doubt as to its birthdate, which so stirred Lydia that she offered to finance an expedition to a numerologist, and I myself do consider the question grave, and were I Gwen I had liefer go by the sun than the laws of the state of New York. All the morning gone in wrapping Christmas November ¢ . 23rd Packages. and those for London and Paris are off, and the others ready for the post, thank God. Nor can.I count on a placid Christmas Eve, at that. forasmuch as my husband, poor wretch, involves himself ssaur Xo ty “THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! annually at the last minute, and the entire household is re- quired to disentangle him. But I need not go to the shops any more, which I am glad of, for the hideous objects on display depress me deeply. There has been much discourse of late as to what this country needs, and wide divergence of opinion on the point. What this country needs, to my notion, is a department of Esthetics in the Presidential Cabinet, and to it I would have the merchants submit all wares for the holiday trade, and then would the land be rid of art book-ends and door-stops and similar outrageous duffle forever. And whom would you have appointed as Secretary of Esthetics? quoth Samuel when I told him my views. George Santayana would be no slouch, I re- sponded, quaking inwardly through momentary doubt as to his exact nationality. But it went well enough. Nocender Up and in a great rage upon discovering that 24th Kate Mitchell, who dined with us last night, had absconded with my lip stick, nor can I see why women commit such larceny so carelessly, but Lord! they are equalled by the men when it comes to matches, for it is all we can do to keep any in the house, and I do think seriously of chaining the boxes we place about after the manner of combs and brushes in Pullman: This day I did lay out sixty dollars on a pair of earrings, and I pray that Sam will not ask me their price. Baird Leonard. I'M GOING TO REPORT IT TO THE GREENS COMMITTEE—THOSE ELEPHANT GIRLS SHOULD BE BARRED FROM THE COURSE.” comicbooks.com