Life — October 27, 1898 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Brahmin Turns the Tables on Mr. Kidd. Falearned Brahmin could be found to reviow Benjamin Kidd's “The Control of the Tropics” (Macmillan), the result would undoubtedly bo a most amusing production, The humor of the situation ought to upset the dignity even of a Brah- min, He could easily apprehend the policy of taking everything In sight because you want itand happen to be stronger. That {s tho law of tho survival of the fittest as tho Brahmin comprehended it ages ago. But to take everything in sight and call It “holding the tropics as a trust forciviliza- tion" ought to excite mirth in the Orient, It is a great thing, when you have doubts away down in your boots about the inbe- rent justice of a course of action, to be ablo to back it up with some law of nature. Mr, Kidd bas hit upon “social evolution” as a phrase covering all those frreatstible tendencies which seem to come from the Initiative of no individual, but from society. It is diMcult to seo that what Mr, Kidd really means by his highly moral phrases {s essentially different from the old cynical aphorisms“ Might makes right” or" What- ovor is, is right.” . . * UPPOSE that the humorous Brahmin who reviews Mr. Kidd's book should bo moved by its enticing sophistry to stir up his own people to apply its fine prin- ciples? It’s a poor rule that won't work both ways, The Brabmin might be inspired to discourso as follows: “ Dearly Beloved Brethren! A famous English pundit named Kidd has discovered agreat law of the universe, and Iam in- cited to call upon you to try a practical application of it, The world is rapidly growing very small and over-populated. Wo people of the tropics send millions of rupees of products to England. These things wo raise very cheap and sell very cheap. I'm toltl that over there in England they sell these things at a great profit, and certain of their wise men are enabled tolivo luxuriously upon this profit, Would it not be better for the half-starved millions of India if wo could keep this extra profit for ourselves? Wo ure strong in numbers; let us invade tho country of the Englishman and seize it,and force the people to do things our way, and pay us our own prico for tho products of our soil and industry which they need. Thus shall wo prosper abundantly at home, Tho astute pundit Kidd proves that this is the right course of action, For by seizing England and governing it according to our own ideas, *LIFE- we shall be able to raise the standard of. living here at home, The world is growing 80 small that there isn’t enough to go ‘round, and wo must get all that wo can while yet there is a chance. This is tho great law of social evolution, It is not robbery or aggression or national bullying—it is simply seizing a weaker nation and holding it ‘as a trust for civil- ization.’ The tropics whero we live are, as Mr. Kidd well says, the hope of the world for material things. Eventually wo must feed and clothe most of their surplus popu- lation, If that is the case, do not we, brethren, hold the trumps? And if wo are strong enough we certainly ought to play them for our own good. Mr. Kidd thinks that England and the United States can play them better for us. But we know a thing or two, We have watched our English brethren play the game out here in India, and we have Jearned a few things that are not printed in this lovely essay by the facile pundit. Bleased are the strong, for they shall inherit the Earth!” Droch, Discovered. A DRAMA IN ONE ROOM. CHARACTERS: Tar WIFE. Somesopy Exse. ‘THe Wire's HvsBaxd. SCENE: Private dining-room, Time: Not a moment too soon, (Knock on the door, Enter husband.) Tue Wire (discovered): U? Tue Huspann (dramatically): I! Tne Wire (dismayed): O1 CURTAIN, The Missing Links. HE Doctor, despite his eccentricities, was always droll and amusing, particularly so during his frequent fits of abstraction. We crossed the ocean with him once, years ago, on the Java, when he professed to be, and was, very anxious about his stateroom companion, At dinner the first afternoon, as we sailed down the Mersey, ho informed us that the man of the ‘upper berth looked likea burglar, At break- fast the next morning he assured us that tho burglar had been at work. The Doctor’s malachite sleeve-buttons had been taken, and with tho links had disappeared tho cuffs that contained them. The Doctor hat determined to say nothing about it, as yet, He would await further events, At luncheon he introduced us to the bur- Cynthia's Clothes. GLANCED across the paling As I dawdled down tho way, And there I saw them trailing In such sweet, disordered play; About them, quite unsated, Wanton zophyrs camo to blows; Tho vory pins I hated, *Causo they pinched my Cynthia’s clothes, I glanced across the paling On a somewhat distant day; I saw tho wash go sailing In a queor, inflated way; For timo a year had netted— Right along that self-samo lino A wicked breeze coquetted With dear Cynthia's clothes and mine. Once moro I passed the paling— Ah! the line had sagged away ; "Twas hung from post to railing With a vory quaint array; For Time keops ever busy As he fills the ompty bowers, And so tho wind grew dizzy With dear Cynthia's clothes and oure. glar, who proved to bea Colonial Bishop on his way to the British West Indies, and ho told us that the whole matter was satis- factorily explained. It was the Bishop who explained the matter to us later. It seems that the Doctor was tho first to get up, And ho put on tho burglar’s shirt! 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