Life — October 27, 1898 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In Boston. E had resolved no speech of his With slang should be encrusted, But it seems to me More blameworthy To say “I'm bursted” than “I'm busted.” “IN THIS TRER 1 SHALL PLACE THE LETTER TELLING GISELINDE OP MY LOVE, AND PROM THIS RETREAT 1 WILL WATCH. All! SHE APPROACHES.” “ GOUDNESS! TERE COMPS PATILER 1? *LIPE® Fame and The Recording Angel. CENE: A battlefeld the night after an engage- ment, PROPERTIES: Corpses galore, ground ploughed by bullets anc shella ete. On a fallen gun carriage, FAME ts discovered sitting with @ rapt expression, teriting on a scroll. Enter THE RECORDING ANGEL. Reconpixa ANGEL. Hello, Fame! What are you dotng here? Fase (solemnly): 1 write the names of dead Heroes on my Immortal Scroll. R. A. (eatirtcally): Immortal? P. (loftily)> Immortal. R. A.: The scroll may be tmmortal,” bat you don't always write with tndelttie Ink. You're crossing out names continually, Just look at those serum fakes, for {nstance; thelr names are generally “Immortal” for six months, and after that—mud! Your list amuses me, I must say. (Looks over her shoulder at serotl.) What have we here? J-o-n-e-4, Jones. How did he acquire immortality? F. (with deep feeling): Ue died for bis Country. R.A: That's news! Died for hls Ambition, tf you like. A political boom he was after, my dear Fame; no country about it. Cross it out. F. (pouting): No, I won't. R.A. (reads): Smith. Surely not Smith 1 F.: Why not? (Tragically, pointing with a emall, ink-emudged hand.) Yonder he ites, shot through the heart (tearfully) to save his country. R. A.: Fiddlesticks ! He went because be was afraid of being called a cowurd. An Inoffensive fellow was Smith, but he couldn't bear to be laughed at. General’y went with the crowd. Wait, Ihave his very words here—just what he said when he found he had to go to “ save his country.” (Consults notebook.) * H-hm! ah, yes— ‘er—well, perhaps they wouldn't make good read- tng for a lady. (Shute dook, looks at acrott agal reads.) Brown. Do you usually scroll the suicides? P.: What can you mean? (Wazing elocution- ary.) He was killed at the front! of the Line 1! with his Country's Flag t!1 tn his Hand 1111 R. A. (hastily): Yes, yes; Iknow, Very sad case, indeed! Girl went back on him, poor chap! Broken heart, and so forth! Warcame tn handy for him, otherwise he'd have figured in the papers.as “Singularly Sad Soctety Suicide,” and his ghost by this time would have been Inter- viewed by the New York Jowrnal,to find out Hlow he did tt; How tt felt to be a sutcide ; Where they first met—fle and She ; Why she Jilted him; How he felt when itfirst dawned on hin ; If she sent his presents back, and other {tems of deep importance to the publte minders of private business, as well as— F. (coldly): You are interrupting me. (Walks aweay, stopping occasionally to look at @ dead soldier or inscribe a name.) R.A. (follows suit, finishing accounts for transfer to his judgment book. Stops to turn a dead soldier over. Erases an entry in book ; preens Ais wing feathers, and starts after Fame): Here's o name for you to— Oh, I say, you're not putting Judd’s down as a hero? F. (frowning): Why not? R.A. (oriefly): He wasn't one. F, (in a deep voice): Explain, then, the manner of his death. (Goes on dreamily, as tf quoting froma monument.) Feariess —he courted death. Relentless—he mowed down his Country's enemtes Ike hatl— R.A. (interrupting): Columblat You're mixing things. Do they mow hail in your country? But, sertously, you mustn't make & note of Judd. F. (creacendo): Twit Twit Twittt tt (R, A. takes out notebook and waits a moment, prepared to write.) R. A. (after @ pause): This man cared nothing for bis country. He loved sport. Game be had hunted all bis life. Man-hunt- Ing was a novelty, not allowed unless Con- gress tsat war with another country. Splen- did opportunity! S'pose he'd been gored by a stag he was bunting, would you have scrolled him? Same here. “ Died hunting.” F. (rufting her wings with vezation): How aggravating you are! You have no discrimination. You don't know what s hero Is. Carol Schethy Turvey. LKALI PETE: What'd they lynch that man fer, down to Bloody Run? Tanove Tom: Why, didn’t you hear? “No—cattle stealing?” “ Nope.” “Murder?” “Nope” “Refusin’ vt drink?” “Naw! Endless chain sharp.” VERY time we make a failure we have a lower opinion of the world, comicbooks.com