Life — November 24, 1892 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: Epitx: Why did you dismiss Mr, Goodheart ? Banc: Oh, he ‘got so he'd rather sit at home and hold my hand than take me to the theatre.—New York Weekly, IN an off-hand sketch of Professor Chrystal, one of his old pupils tells how this mathematician made his science aid him ia the management of his class. To relieve the monotony, a student at the end of bench ten dropped a marble, which toppled slowly downward toward the professor. At every step it took there was a smothered guffaw ; but Chrystal, who was working at the board, did not turn his head. When the marble reached the floor, he said, still with his back to the class : {Will the student at the end of bench ten, who dropped that marble, stand wear 4 All eyes dilated. He had counted the falls of the marble from step to step.— Argonaut. Ix a case which was being tried the other day in a Vienna law court a cabman who drove a one-horse chariot was called as a witness. To test the trustworthiness of the evidence he was about to give he was asked by the Judge if he had ever been punished for any misdemeanor. Wits Iwas only punished once, many years ago, and that was when 1 was detained by the police for twenty-four hours. THE JupGe: You have never been sentenced to any term of imprisonment by a judge for any very serious breach of the law ? Witness: Certainly not, my Lord THE Junce (shaking his head): A cabman! And never been prosecuted ? How long have you been a cabman ? Wits) Since the day before yesterda THe JUDGE (smiling): Abt That will do, Let the case proceed. —Lomdon Daily News. + That typewritten letter I received from you was abominably just full of blunders. ess MAN (sad/y): I know. Why don't you discharge the fellow ? ss MAN: It'sa girl. Well, discharge the girl. $ ever! I'm in love with her. : 3 n marry her. TAKING HIS WIND. JSINESS MAN: She won't have me.—New York Weekly. Irate Father: TWE ADEA OF A SON OF MINE DISGRACING ME BY BEING Is her “Ancedotes." Mrs. Thrale tells a. good story of Johnsons irational Oh DRURRERMEE ANG fi Fale CONBUEE TOW: antipathy to the inhabitants of North Britain, On the doctor's return from the ARRESTED FOR DRUNKENNESS AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT! WHAT DID THE Wionrde he was asked by a Scotch gentleman, in London, ** what he thought of JUDGE SAY TO You ? his country ? Penitent Son: WWY—ER—ME APPEARED TO KNOW YOU, HE SAID, WELL “That is a very vile country to be sure, sir,” returned for answer Dr. Johnson y MAME THE BOY BO MUCH, HES 4 CHIP OFF THE OLD scORK, “Well, sir,” replied the other, somewhat mortified, * God made it.” epRts ** Certainly he did,” answered Johnson, again; ‘but we must always remem- DER WITH A REPRIMAND: ber that he made it for Scotchmen, and—comparisons, sir, are odious—but God made hell."—Argonaut. FURS. '92-SEASON-'93. 3 = New and Original Styles in JACKETS, CAPES, FUR GARMENTS, ETC. A. Jaeckel, FURRIER, SET 11 East 19th Street, New York. Bet. Breadway and Sth Ave. Receiver of the grand gold medal of the Paris Exposition Universelle, 18: Catalogues Sent on Application. Mention Lirk. comicbooks.com