Judge — January 1939 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

, Mrs. Claus regrets BY EVE ROBERT Mrs. Santa Claus received a message. It way in the form of an official invitation, with a per- sonal note attached. Everyone knew her hus- band, but nobody had ever met her, so people in Washington, D. C., were getting curious to sce what she really looked like, if she was attractive, and how she dressed. Mrs. Claus was delighted to be invited down (you sce she is Santa’s second wife, and life on the North Pole was beginning to pall, kind and nice as he is), All she knew of this part of the world was what her husband told her and I guess she didn’t quite believe him. SO, full of a new importance all her own she got to- gether her things and commandcered the young reindeer team to bring her south (he kept the old team). She landed in Washington the next afternoon, having stopped incognito along the way, and was met by Mrs, Roosevelt, her host- ess. Mrs. Roosevelt. made her instantly at home, saw to it that the reindeer were stabled in the Department of the Interior in the old of- fice of Charlie West which was very, very empty. The White House looked lovely, all holly and mistletoe, and Mry. Claus was indeed in a good mood, She was prematurely grey and proud of it—wanted to show off her lovely hair, so she wore no hat at all. She had ona wool suit. It way dark red with a trimming of little ermine skins, and her shoes were dark red sucde. Poor Mrs. Santa Claus had to stand up all afternoon, first on one foot and then on the other. She changed fect with every new Cabinet Officer. She met Diplomats, she met Secretaries, she met Heady of Departments, she met G-Men. She was nearly dead when the reception was over with, and was looking forward to going to bed early, when one of the guests who lingered a little after the others, came and insisted that she come for dinner that night. Mrs. Santa looked helplessly at Mts. Roosevelt for aid, but Mrs. Roosevelt nodded ap- proval, so she was hooked. Her dinner hostess was a lady called Mrs. Blighter, and the only reason’ Mrs. Blighter wanted her therg was so she could show the other society ladies in her category that she could get a celebrity for dinner any time she wanted one, But Mrs. Santa went there in all good faith. In her land people had no such mo- THE JUDGE FOR JANUARY tives. She looked lovely—nobody could cize her clothes. Again she wore dark red, but her evening dress was velvet, she had on a cape of ermine, and her jewels made the Wash- ington jewels look like pieces of tin. The first complication arose when the seating had to be changed at the last minute. There is one man in Washington who can always be had as an extra, specially if it’s to the house of some- one “rich and grand.” He wasn’t the compli cation; it was this: at the dinner, among the usual run of society people there happened to be a Supreme Court Justice and his wife, and a Cabinet Officer and his wife, and the Ger- man Ambassador and his wife. Senators were there ten for a penny, but WHAT to do with Mrs. Claus, the celebrity? Mustn't insult her by giving her an inferior seat, and yet Mrs. Blighter had to continue to live in| Washington with the Justice and the Cabinet Officer and the Ambassador. So it was thus ar- ranged: The Justice on the hostess’ right, the Cabinet Officer on her left, and Mrs. Santa Claus at the very head of the table flanked by the German Ambassador and a Senator. The Ambas- sador, however, had to call up Protocol to find the exact origin of the name “Claus. He was not satisfied because he could only check as far back ay ten thousand yearn—so with usual acumen) Mr. Wallach Merriam came to the rescue and the name was changed “Annio's protty cocksure, ain't she?" “If you need anything—just ring!" to Mrs. “Kris Kringle.” The Envoy was content. Now Mrs. Claus is gay and vivacious, full of fun, but she found to her dismay that the Sen- ator was also very full of fun. So much so that she was embarrassed and uncomfortable all dur- ing dinner. She even asked if the party was above or under the table, but with rare tact and a little anger, she pulled through all right. Mer dinner everyone crowded around her and seemed interested in her land, her life in ge eral, and her husband's job, which is compar- able to the job of the Administrator of Works Progress Administration. She told them about the good and bad fairies, the snow all year round, the rein- deer farms, the toy factories, the school; and all at once she looked up to find she was quite alone. No- body really cared. They had just been curious. She left and took a taxi, went by the Interior Department, harnessed up her rein- deer, dropped in at the Wh House to say goodbye to Mrs. Roosevelt’ who had been genuinely sweet to her, left her a present of a real wish for happiness, then drove over the house- tops of the city empty- ing her big bag of gifts where they would be appreciated and needed. ‘To. Jimmy Roosevelt she gave a movie contract; to Marvin McIntyre, two quarty of milk; to Madame Perkins, a nice new time clock to punch; to Mrs. Morgenthau, a miniature art gallery; to Chip Robert, a “twangy” New England accent; and to. Jim Farley—all wrapped up in paper with the dear- ext little elephants on it—she gave Maine and Vermont. e GRANDIOSE LARCENY Chicago. When WPA crews, authorized to wreck ten condemned buildings, arrived on the sites, the sites were all they found. Barnegat, N. J. Harry M. Murray and John A. Erickson, of Manahawken, were charged with taking 105 telephone poles, which had been taken down and placed beside the roadway. St, Joseph, Mo. M. J. Fabricius, of Bedford, Iowa, reported to the sher- iff’s office here that his house and barn had been stolen, leaving only the framework. Lynn, Mass, When James Hogan, 38 years old, was sought on a charge of burglarizing a restaurant, police found “him with the restaurant's watchdog. Methuen, Mass. Although nothing was taken from the camp or the ad- joining garage, thieves at Camp No. 2 at Forest Lake stole a wharf. Providence, R. I. Joseph. Gemma, 38 years old, of this city, has been con- victed of stealing a railroad. A. F. comicbooks.com