Judge — January 1939 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

tahe shiing, now- Some people plug the keyhole and turn up the gas jet, some cross intersections against the lights, and others take up skiing. Skiing is a fascinating sport. There's an in- triguing uncertainty about the whole thing. As you push off from the top of the ski course and head for the first jump, you don’t know whether the insurance company will pay double indemnity for accidental death, or refuse pay- ment on grounds of suicidal intent. Before we get into this thing too far let it be known that I know whereof I speak. I made probably one of the longest ski jumps on rec- ord. [started somewhere near the summit of Mt. Rainier and landed ninety miles away in a Seattle hospital. ‘The whole idea of the sport is to start ata high point and land ata lower point intact. It has been done. The equipment consists of two slippery slats harnessed to your feet, a pair of sticks, and a considerable hunk of snow. ‘Trees generally ye part in the scheme but you don't have to seck them out. had an obliging pine xo a hundred yards out of its way to meet me. Some people carry a pack on their back, and if you have any foresight whatsoever, the pack will contain a picce of hardtack, some dried milk, a hunk of ski wax, and a pair of crutches. At times skiing borders on the brink of the hasardous, One of the first things you learn is how to exccute a “Christie.” After you've tried it you'll no doubt ‘¢ that Christie should have been executed. Somebody talked me into trying it, Twas folded up like Charlie thy between performances. y people go in for skiing merely for the It is all very fetching and appeals ex pecially to the fairer sex. When [was up in the mountains this last time T noticed that the favorite color scheme seemed to be green and brown; mine continued black and bly An obliging fricnd gave me which I believe merit repeating ing is just like diving,” he advise in both sk and diving one should keep the fect together. I followed this rule faithfully. However. as the lL wore on, T analyzed this helpful hint, ‘overed a slight ion between ski- ing and di In skiing one’s fect should be below the head. Should you become bored with merely being suspended sixty fect in the air with kindling strapped to your fect, slalom racing is a nice diversion, Slaloming is an obstacle race. Not to be confused with ‘slaloming’ on Park Ave- nue, Sprinkled down the slope of a mountain are hazards. ‘The idea is to weave in and out in the quickest possible time. Sort of a steeple: chase on ironing boards. It's one place where you are complimented for a U turn, Imagine adding further hazards to make the sport more difficult. As if your fect. weren't obstacles enough. But, slaloming is just like any other sport. tennis for instance. ‘They thought tennis was too casy, so some smart guy got the idea of putting up a net. There are a few rules one should keep in mind while skiing: "Not this afternoon, Bill... I've got to finish that telephone company mural.” a Don’t stray from the crowd. There are no signposts, and traffic cops are pretty scarce, (2) Be sure that your left foot knows what your right foot is doing, and certainly whére it's going. (3) Always carry a compass, but never in your hip pocket. ‘These are just a few suggestions I am offer: ing which will tend to make your skiing weck- end more pleasant. Here’s another: Take along a good book, find a soft chair by a log fireplace, and Ieave your skis packed away. R. S. CONWAY “| put them there—I wanted to make sure Santa Claus stopped at the right housel” THE JUDGE FOR JANUARY comicbooks.com