Judge — December 1938 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Around and about wituH JUDGE OUR COUNTRY’S FLAG is passing,” hissed a 1] swarthy Bulgarian spy, to each of whose burnished spurs. was affixed a charming nosegay. Junior, the object of these remarks, was busily engaged in conducting lifeboat drill on the top of the Empire State Building with a visiting group of Four-H Clubbers, taking the place of good old “Al” Smith. Paying no attention whatsoever to the dusky intruder, Junior methodically threw all the children off into neighboring 34th Street one by one, and then made the following notes on the back of an old envelope: Football Game Equip- ment: Blanket. Double-size thermos bottle (medicinal use). Blonde, wont fo know obout places fo smart. cot, Pair brass knuckles for people who take your seats. Set standard expres: sions to be used for impressing blonde. A. “This looks like a eral.” Vell, they used to start a lateral that Citizens of New York ond burghers from the Provinces ore invited by Judge, Jr. to write him for anything they not too ploces to drink, ond places to waggle the foot ond moke merry; drives, beaches end roilroad and hotel infor- motion ond rates; Junior won't moke reservations, but he will do his best to lend o hond. That’s Booth’s old pla Vell, T meant Grang hey're going to kick. hey should have kicked.” ‘laysbook for remembering old pals. Set of words to college song. “We will smash through the line for Burnside We'll knock old ——— high wide! will fight all day for the Beige and Grey In the good old Burnside way! Rah Rah Rah! Burnside! -N-BURN! (Spoken) SIDE! (Shricked) (Whistle, and general laughter at this comic touch.) BURNSIDE! BURNSIDE! BURNSIDE! Telephone number for use when blonde escapes into cheering sec- and We Pair smoked glasses for use at postgame drinking party. Timetable back to city, hot lem: de and bed. Sporting extra for details of game. LOVE MAKES A GET-AWAY Junior (who has just finished his omnibus work on American Lile & Customs, written in a local penthouse) says there may be some connection be- tween an American escape-complex and the sophisticates’ current fad for silliness, , JR. We had handies; we had Snow White; we had the Flat Foot Floogie. Then came games—back- gammon, Monopoly, and what have you. Now Jun- ior begs leave to report the beginnings of a ne fad: “Love"—yes, Love. Love, moreover, is a game. (Junior prefers to think of it as an ancient prac: tice.) Love comes in a glowing carmine box, and iy played with fancy girl and boy figures, moved by playing special led ad- vances and setbacks and—shall. we say~ lavishly illustrated. Boy meets gitl; boy chases girl (and vice- versa); boy gets girl. ‘Then are yawns and sand torn pictures, in short all the trappings of the War of the Sexes. The path around the Love Board leads from the Age of Innocence (2) 10 the very jaws of matrimony, where the warriors pair off and get spliced. The first couple married are the Winners. A paradoy, says Junior. Whether or no “Love” is some astute propa: ganda by the marriage licenye bureaus and min- isters, Junior wouldn't know, But Love (manu- “Empire Room, please!" factured by a firm operating under the unbe- lievable tide of Love, Inc.) iy taking New York by storm. Junior likes. THE JUDGE JR. EATING & DRINKING SOCIETY Dinner and supper dancing will never be a problem to those who know such places as the Roosevelt’ Grill, Madison Avenue and 45th Street, where Roger Pryor’s orchestra has just opened, along with Howard Green, Lane ‘Truesdale, Billy Smith and “Red” Hodgson, of “The Music Goes Round” ditto ditto (and another t ng—the new Roosevelt Coffee Shop is not to be missed). For those in formal dress and flush of pocket there is the Waldorf- Astoria Sert Room, with Emil Coleman's orchestra, Paul Draper's famous dancing and the singing of what the press agent for the gilded hos- telry calls “a popular society vocalist,” although he is hold- ing out on her name. Junior bets that either the “pop. soc. voc.” is holding out for a dai- quiri with every chorus or else her family are trying to get a higher figure for blackening the ancient name+ of Van Squint by public perform ance. However, you can go to the Empire Room, also. in the Waldorf, dress informally, pay less and listen to Benny Good- man, which is O.K. by Junior. Dwight Fiske, the singer of ex- pressive monologues, is back for his annual fall engage- ment in the Cafe Lounge of the Savoy-Plaza. Then the Trianon Room of the Ambas- sador, evening dance music by Dick. Gasparre for all who would dance and be amused. THE JUDGE FOR DECEMBER comicbooks.com Edi Sho City Dea Y opi ac ing has' assi cha to: by no as stu yea wh you hel | on my aln lib do thi