Judge — March 1938 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ist—Napoleon returns from Elb: New Amsterdam is first to say: “it's a nice place to visit, but I want to live here.” 1649. William Dean Howells born; jand becomes self-conscious, 1837. 1815; Dutch visitor to U. S. Department of Education established, 1867. Thousands still unable to read Congressional Record, 1938, ‘olding card table, belonging to Dravosburg, Pa., family, found to have nothing wrong with any of its legs, 1918. 3rd—War declared against Algiers, 1818, Grocer in St. James, N. ¥., when asked if ergs are fresh, answers “No,” 1903. iron eass] 4th—Vermont admitted to Union, 1791. Inauguration Day ‘instituted; excursion rates invented, 1793, Reap Sth—Don Stewart, of Colum- bus, O., invents new ex plosive, six times stronger than dynamite, for removal of lids from poxes of shoe paste, 1919. Riveting machine gets out of order; effort made to have day declared State holiday, New York, 1922. 6th—C) Philip Henry Sheridan, famous advocate of horse- back riding, born, 1831. "Massacre of the Alamo, 1836. Little Wonder Pyrography Company instigates massacre of thousands of Indians on leather cushion covers, 1893. 7th—Diner in Pocatello, Idaho, breaks world’s record by eating 7826 oyster crackers before the meat course arrives, 1905. 8th—England passes Stamp Act, 1765. Los Angeles, Cal., cele- brates completion of entire month without a sensational scandal, 1905. ley Alcs Hitler of Carinthia, Austria, drops son Adolf on his ead, 1890. 9th— German Government Issues Statement that two and two equals three, 1940. Sixteen aged residents of Carinthia, Austria, nod and remember that they always thought Adolf a smart boy. Monitor and Merrimac fight all day, 1862. i0th—Valve for steam engines patented; work begun on valve handle wheeze, 1849, Guest at friend’s club fails to read every- thing on bulletin board, 1932. llth—Gareth Frippy, first victim of a tooth-paste-squeezed-on- shaving-brush accident, dies at Franklin, Tenn., 1908. Pullman Car Company, celebrates installation of its 1,000th variety of spring jaucet, 1938, 12th—General Post Office established by Congress, 1789. First complaints about it, 1789. Great blizzard, 1888. Thirty-nine Ger- man scientists exiled for stating that two and two equals three. Had failed to read new edict that they make seven, 1941. 13th—Standard time system established in U. S.; slogan “Now it Can Be Tod” invented, 1884. Movie producer arrives in New York and is not interviewed by press, 1978. 14th—Andrew Jackson born, 1767, H. J. Heinz completes life work by mixing No, 43 and No. $1 and getting No. $7, 1900. 15th—Conference to end all wars begins at London, 2319. Ger- many rules that all adding is non-Aryan, 1942, Non-Congressman's daughter used to christen battleship, 1908. 16th—James Madison born, 1836. West Point Military Academ; established, 1802. Plans completed for first Army-Navy Game, 1802. W7th— ST. PATRICK’S DAY. First submarine goes under water, 1898. Still there, 1938. Soda fountain clerk places chocolate sundae in front of person who ordered it, 1912, The Judge Almanac for March By Marc Connelly and George S. Kaufman John pela jr 18th—Grover Cleveland born, 1837. First Pension Act passed, 1918; American Legior demands cash bonus for widows of friends of all training camp veterans, 1946. Harold L. Milchheim, Duluth, Minn., writes name and address on space provided for purpose on triangular coupon in magazine advertisement, 1926; Ex-premier Fletherios Venizelos of Greece dies in Paris; type setters rejoice, Call issued for First Colonial Congress, 1690. Wil- liam Jennings Bryan, afterwards known as Beau Brummell, born, 1860. Congress agrees to American Legion request, 1946. 20th—Husband in Macon, Georgia, helping wife to hang a pic- ture, gets it right the first time, 1897. Driver of coal wagon gets off car tracks as soon as a car comes up bebind him, 1920. 21st—Bank of New York incorporated, 1791. pith parasols frst used by chorus girls, 1843. Sons begin designing next year’s holiday cards, 1938. Somme begins, U. Pinwheel effect Raphael Tuck and Battle of the S. troops have somme time,’ 1918. 22nd—s Scott bombards Vera Cruz, 1847. President promises to balance budget this year, sure, 1999. Parliament passes Stamp Act, 1765; causes America to emancipate self. Eman- cipation Day in Puerto Rico, ha ha, 23rd—Patrick Henry makes the Liberty-or-Death speech, there- by giving school children something to do on Friday afternoons, 1978, Aguinaldo captured by Funston, 1901. Last papier-maché scimitar removed from cozy corner, 1917. 24th—Rhode Island purchased from the Indians, 1636. Whites replenish the Kitty by selling Newport to Cholly Knickerbocker, 1939. Magazine publishers plan special asbestos editions for use in Turkish baths, 1938, Movie producers begin printing Los Angeles city directory as prologue to films, 1914,” Twelve hundred lodge brothers attend a theatrical performance not “in a body,” 1947. 26th—Mussolini endorses multiplica- tion, 1939. First art photograph taken by light of match held cupped in sitter’s hands while he lights cig- arette, 1872, Russia installs sub- traction, as method of taking census, 1940. New arrival, joining five others in apartment house hallway, fails to press “down” elevator button, 1921. ap 27th—Ponce de Leon, secking Fountain of Youth, discovers Florida, 1513. Ten thousand middle-aged business men, also seeking Fountain of Youth, decide it was Paunch de Leon, 1938. Elizabethan critic sees last act of Macbeth, coins phrase “corking good entertain- ment—see it!, 1603, 28th—Mexican War begins; Hearst gets out an extra, 1846. New variety of extra seat in taxicab, requiring to be turned around three times before it opens, invented, 1941. born, 1790. Six forces to work out a i Colonel Jacob Ruppert another nickel to Grover Southpaw Ruth, saying it, 1900-1938, 29th—[]_-s«John_-Tyler, tenth President, families living in Parsons, Kan. jo particularly difficult jig-saw puzzle, 1921. announces he will’ not pay 1900-1938. Photograph 30th—Ether first used as anesthetic; first patient tells about his operation, 1842, U. S. buys Alaska from Russia, 1867, Post Office department promises reduction in Jc postage, 1964. 3lst—Wurlitz Correspondence School founded, 50 B.C. Julius Caesar endorses course, 49 B.C. six months, mint sauce, “Have sold three manuscripts in Very satisfied with course.” Exit MARCH, with