Judge — March 1938 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HERE'S a chapter in Dale Car- negie’s book about being a good listener, but none of the ROOSEVELTS has had time to read it... War- MAKER BLOMBERG, in Germany, was frowned out of office when, at 59, he married a lady of 28. I don’t get it, but then, I never was good at mathematical equations. If a Captain of 40 should marry a girl of 20, who would win the war? ...1 saw Jimmy WALKER at his wife's flower shop, and he said, “I have to wear my hat in here. Every time I take it off somebody wants to buy a bouquet from me, and I have to explain that I'm just the husband.” Jimmy may still be called debonair, but time and trouble have left marks . .. Births in New York City have been running about one hundred less per week this year than last. In Tokyo they've been jailing birth control ad. vocates. Six thou- sand fewer pri- mary grade pu- pils in New York this year than last. Two kids in every perambulator in Tokyo . . . As I've said before, there's no sense going to war anyhow... HERBERT Hoover admits he gave away his entire salary throughout his public life. We're listening, FRANKLIN . . - While the others talk about dictating, Frank Hacug, of Jersey City, dictates, and likes it. He says I am the law, and if you didn’t know him, you might think he was bragging. But he really is the law, you know, and that puts him ahead of a lot of folk who say they are not when they really are... In many countries, now, they have a minute or two of silence for every big politician, king, swindler or jobholder who passes on to his reward, such as it must be ... And if the whole caboodle of them is worth a minute, I would ask the world and its denizens to stand silent for a year in memory of CAPTAIN Musick, who flew into the arms of the Dark Angel without ever knowing the poison of fear. Flight is safe because 8 IF | DARE SAY SO By Charles B. Driscoll of men like Musick, and the world is unsafe on account of the men who usually get the bugles and the tremolo stops, the half-staffed flags and the over- stuffed shirts. . . . Well, I'm not mad about it, for glory is its own glory, and Captain Ed has it, now and forever. see At Brown University the learned doc- tors find that you can increase the life span and Casanova qualities of a flea by giving him a light diet and a tough life while he’s a youngster and letting him live gaudily and well in his later years Jitteryjitteryjittery feels the country, and some truth. speaking might serve as a morning- after picker-upper ... Are we going to war, after all, and if so, what for? ... Are we going to continue the row between _ politics and business, and if so, can’t we settle it now by shooting everybody who wears a clean shirt, as they did in Russia? . . . but we haven't got far enough in this game of ques. tions-and-answers yet to get any answers . - » Joe Davis did a good job as Am- bassador at Moscow, but he had to quit when his supply of frozen cream gave out... If ever you get a patriotic feeling of inferiority teup on account of ELEANOR \ ferry RoosEvELT’s writing style, just read the poem that the Mixabo submitted in a na- tional contest. It will make you proud of our journalistic High Lady. Not even a Japanese syndicate could make newspapers print the kind of stuff the EMPEROR writes, day after day . . . Pravda, voice of the Soviets, calls HENRY Forp a Fascist and a lot of things with k’s, v's and z's in them, which must be pretty bad. Before they swiped UNcLe Henry's ideas, patents and assembly line, the Soviet boys were making a god of him and trying to smile like him . . . Maybe they found the automobiles they made after the Forp pattern wouldn't run without roads and drivers, and that's enough to make any red see white . . . I've enjoyed reading Frazier Hunt's autobiography, One American, because it's full of horse sense . . . and I'd like to see more of these good newsmen autobiographies, They reveal that RICHARD HARDING Davis and Henry M. STANLEY were just horse-and-buggy reporters, after all, though they did the best they could with their slow boats and third-rate wars... U. S. Steel borrows fifty million to do a little building and repair work around the place, and JouNn D. ROCKEFELLER is starting some more buildings in his little patch of sky. scrapers . . . Seems the big boys think there's going to be something going on in this country for a few years yet, even though Ear. Browner gets his picture in Life. wee Bitt Rocers stopped in on his way to Europe. I asked him if he wouldn't write, at least for his own Beverly Hills newspaper, from Spain and other coun- tries, but he answered, wiping his face with his hand in the familiar RocERs manner, “No, I don’t guess I will. You see, I just don’t like to write.” . and, come to think of it, that's the very best reason for not writing... JIMMY, Bitu’s brother, has a ranch near the sea in California, 25,000 acres, with 12,000 head of cattle, and sometimes competes in rodeos... Mr. Bit Borat is 2 valuable citizen, but he can't help look. ing silly when he asks the Administra- tion whether we have a secret under- standing with England. He knows the answer has to be no, no matter what the truth is... Hupert HERRING talks out loud in his new book. When I (Page 47, please) The Judge comicbooks.com