Judge — December 1937 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

holding its exposition in New Orleans, comes forward with the announcement that colored paper milk bottles are re- placing old-style glass containers. Gosh knows, it is time that the cows got a break after all these years of having their entire day's work exhibited in the same old hum-drum fashion while trying to compete with fancy packages in food shops. Purple or red bottles with no clash to them are going to be mighty disheartening to the gents who enjoy rattling them at 4:00 A.M. on your doorstep and ours but they will be a beautiful sight to gladden the heart of the early-morning reveler who arrives home three jumps behind the milkman! UT regardless of the ingenuity of man in introducing new color schemes to meet the ever-changing conditions of a fast and restless age, there will be no changes made in that article of optical decoration commonly known as the shanty, or black-eye. Its colorful beauty will dazzle us, as always, in the same subdued tones, namely: blue, brown, green, yellow, and in some instances, red! DOIN WOES STK \ uk VAT ON "Things are getting out of hand at the Mecanno counter.” ‘THE CHINESE are a sorely-tried peo- ple these days, what with the Japa. nese all around them and their own air- planes overhead. WE HAD a talk with a beautician named Gloria Bristol the other day. She is famous.for having slimmed down the Dutch Princess Juliana, but we wanted to see her because she igtroduced beauty treatments for men in this coun. try, and we thought you gents in the back room might be interested. Most of Miss Bristol’s male clients come from Wall St., which confirms our suspicions. Next most numerous are the editors of magazines (JuDGE is not a magazine; it is an institution) and other professional men. For some reason, which Miss Bristol hasn't discovered, she has been getting a rush of business from the men’s clothing trade lately. Miss Bristol’s most remarkable job on a male involved a doctor from Porto Rico. When he came to her, she says, he looked just like John D. Rockefeller, Sr., and when she finished he just looked like a Porto Rican doctor. Oddly enough, he was pleased. We have two more facts to tell you in this connection; and there may not even be any connection, in which case you can lump it. First, a scientist has discovered that there are more female neurotics than male. Second, another scientist has discovered that male lions snarl when flowers are thrown into their cages, while female lions purr, and play with the blossoms. FARM northwest of Potwin, Kan., has sunk out of sight. Geologists cannot explain the phenomenon, but this department once spent an hour in ° Potwin, Kan., and knows the answer: the farm was bored. AND NOW that the telegraph com. : panies have come out with an an. nouncement that in the future there will be no charge made for punctuation marks we wonder if there will be any wires sent like this: HOW ABOUT REMITTING FOR THAT STUFF BOUGHT LAST YEAR YOU x XX JoVoR&" X Jo X K--$*K!!! Or, aren't those punctuation marks? Anyway, it ought to be a good cheap Juda? comicbooks.com