Judge — December 1937 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

rf VN ON 2. 2 way for comic strip artists to correspond with each other period paragraph. ADDING a new twist to an old theme is a freak accident which occurred in Portland, Oregon. And it brings up the question of whether it is: advisable to take a dog with you when you go motor- ing. The dog in this case, it seems, de- cided to jump from the car; the motorist made a grab for the mutt, lost control of the car and crashed into a fire-hydrant. The pup was unhurt but the auto was wrecked and water flooded basements of the entire district for an hour and a half before the situation could be remedied. We can picture the indignation regis- tered in the eyes of that little pup when he saw what his master’s car had done to that once-grand hydrant. And why not? He undoubtedly saw it first! JUR.REGULAR correspondent in La- gos, Nigeria, is on vacation. For- tunately enough, we have other friends there, and one of them has sent us the following interesting composition, the work of a native Lagosian: 6 Palm Street Lagos, Nigeria To the Marine Superintendent Captain Halcrew The Elder Dempster Line Sir: My statement to you about my speech to my lawyer when he came to demand as per legal order the sum of £50 for my poor damaged body by falling in company’s lighter while doing my hon- est duty for Elder Dempster, on account of which I might have gone to heaven that day, praise the Lord I did not go, but Sir, when you said to my legal ad. vice that I was drunken, and that cause of drunkenness was stealing gin from the lighter. Well, Sir, this speech proves you are a son of the Father of Lies, because said gin had been drunk freely at 8 a.m. prompt whereas I fell headlong into lighter at 11 a.m. prompt. At 11 a.m. gin had departed body, so cause of topheaviness had finished. Therefore, charge of stealing company's gin is libel. Beware, Sir, do not take away my poor characters, besides £1000 are after Lent legal by libel, as legals cost plenty money Sir and sign for £50 to damage to my poor frame of mor- tality as follows:— Fell dowa lighter on tons of metals One head splitten (very grave) One nose useless (blood extracted) December 1937 One shoulder broken (very grave) One arm bent (ditto, ditto) One thick leg dashed (ditto, ditto) One half leg broken (bloody freely) Now, Sir, these hurts are cheap at £50 so please get to business and sign to Elder Dempster. I will come for book re. £50 tomorrow morning, meantime may God watch and protect over your slumbers tonight so as to keep you safe till morning and I get £50. May His Mercy keep and protect you from that Father of Lies said Devil. Signed, Yesufu Lyorin His mark X Wilk so many people holding the bag nowadays it’s difficult telling the Santa Clauses from the everyday taxpayers. HIL GARBO of Cleveland is mad, and plenty mad at that. Phil is an interior decorator, and one of the best in the middle west. So when he finished decorating the Garbo Beauty Salon for his niece he wired to the great Garbo in Hollywood informing her of the same and anticipating a letter of congratula- tion. Instead he received an inquiry as to the right and title of the name of Garbo, and that means fight in Phil's country. For Phil can trace his name and the right thereto back to the year 1270 A.D. no less. Not only that, and here's something that perhaps not even Greta herself may know, but she was named after Phil's clan. It all happened years back when Greta first came to America. Phil, at the time, was decorating the Stillman theatre in Cleveland for the late Emanuel Mandelbaum, the founder of First National Pictures. One day Man- delbaum came to him and said: “Phil, I have just given a new star your name. She just came over from Sweden and will be a great actress.” The rest is ancient history. Greta became the noted actress that she is, and Phil con- tinued with his interior decorations. But her recent objections made Phil so mad that he's thinking of suing to get his own name back. Besides the great Greta there are only four other Garbos in America; and three of them are Phil's brothers, and one is a cousin. “Of all the rotten luck—the boss says I gotta work Christmas Eve!” comicbooks.com