Judge, 1937-04 · page 12 of 36
Judge — April 1937 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Oscar Jones' Peace Raft: A WWI-Era Neutrality Debate This satirical piece depicts a heated argument between two neighbors about American intervention in World War I. Oscar Jones argues for strict neutrality and rational cost-benefit analysis—accepting civilian casualties as unfortunate but necessary to avoid war's expense. His unnamed neighbor responds emotionally, equating pacifism with cowardice and communism, demanding America fight to avenge innocent deaths. The satire targets both positions: Oscar's cold logic that reduces human tragedy to accountancy, and the narrator's patriotic fervor that conflates non-intervention with spinelessness. The cartoon's opening image of eviction humorously undermines Oscar's lofty philosophical stance, suggesting his arguments—however logically constructed—stem from impractical idealism disconnected from real consequences. The piece reflects early-1920s American debate over isolationism versus interventionism, with Judge magazine likely skeptical of both extremes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
"Sidewalk cafe nothin’! They evicted me!” OSCAR JONES’ PEACE RAFT SCAR JONES who lives next door to me Has firm opinions Which he states with much force But his arguments are often hard to fol- low And even when Oscar is right (as some. times happens) It seems to be due to chance instead of design. Oscar is a good borrower. He is always out of everything except ideas. Yesterday when he came to borrow my stepladder We got to talking about neutrality, Freedom of the seas, etc., And what a beastly mess Europe is in And how history proves That the only possible way to prevent war Is to be prepared to fight. For a few minutes everything that he said Was rational and absolutely sound So we were agreeing just one hundred per cent Until without warning He blew four tires and broke a steering wheel With the following result. 10 “Tt shouldn't be hard” said Oscar “For America to stay out of this next war. All we have to do is to keep our heads Even if a few dozen civilians Get bombed or gassed or shot. All we have to do is to realize That women and babies are going to be contraband Just the same as copper And just as properly subject to seizure and sinking. We've got to try to remember that war is hell And say ‘So what?’ ” “Wait a minute Oscar" I protested. “Do you mean to tell me that any lousey foreigners Are going to murder innocent American citizens And get away with it? Because if you do you're talking like a damned pacifist!” “Calm yourself” said Oscar. “Don’t jump at conclusions like that. Let's forget these meaningless generali- ties And get down to cases. Let us concede that all foreigners are lousey All Americans innocent And all pacifists damned. Granting this, Let us suppose that the Swiss submarine Z44 While attempting to blockade the British Isles Sinks 1 American liner, incidentally drowning 4 innocent lawyers 9 innocent bankers 27 innocent married couples and 44 innocent children. What do you recommend that we do about that?” as E DECLARE war by God!” I shouted “And we do it in a hurry by God! We'll show those baby butchers It doesn't pay to monkey with ws, by God!” + (I should have ended the argument right there But I'm a liberal at heart And after all, a man has a right to his own opinions No matter how crazy they are So I let Oscar maunder along— And this was my reward.) “Tt is plain that you haven't thought this through” said Oscar. “Let us try to be rational. Let us recall Our alleged superiority to the dumb creatures Including the higher apes. Let us remember the grand old American doctrine Of vicarious atonement And also the salutary American maxim Of the greatest good for the greatest number. If you bear these in mind How will you justify the probable loss Of several billion good American dollars And a few thousand innocent American soldiers To avenge 111 American citizens Some of whom may be less innocent than you think?” se OW" I said “By God I know you're a pacifist And probably a communist to boot. Don't forget there are worse things than war And one of them is to take life lying down And be yellow and spineless by God! You have to die sometime don’t you? Well then, why not die like a man Instead of a whimpering cur?” “There you go again, jumping at con- clusions” said Oscar. “Why should J die at all? You may find it convenient For me to have the courage of your con- victions But I am indifferent to your convictions And interested primarily in my own Judge comicbooks.com