Judge — March 1934 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“He ought to clean up a fortune on that idea.” Control Yourself By Edward W. Spooner BAvane out your partner for a misplay at the bridge table is not sporting, of course. We know that. But what are those of us going to do who have high blood pressure? The thing presents a serious problem. If we could just say, “What the hell did you play that for?” the pressure would be relieved right away and the whole business forgotten in short order. But we can’t do that. It isn’t sporting. The sportsman smiles and says nothing. If we smile and say nothing the smile is apt to be somewhat startling and the blood pressure to jump up around the 210 mark. When the victim is of choleric ten- dencies he has to do or say something to relieve his feelings. And since he cannot indulge in caustic comments the only thing for him to do is to try . expedients calling for novements which, how- one of several certain physic: ever slight, serve the purpose of a sud- den phlebotomy. These are: 1. Tossing his cards face down on the table with a slight thud, leaning back in his chair and remaining thus for 30 seconds with his hands in repose in his lap. He then lights a cigarette, picks up his cards and plays them with an at- titude of extreme ennui. 2. Looking at his partner intently in a critical yet kindly manner as if he were worried about his partner’s health He then shakes his head almost but not quite imperceptibly, heaves a sigh and resumes playing 3. Bending over the table and scrutinizing carefully the offending card as if doubting his own eyesight. He then ¢ ing manner and finally selects a card carelessly it didn’t matter which one he played. nsults his own hand in a wonder- as if 4. Looking appealingly at first one opponent and then the other and even- tually at various parts of the ceiling as if invoking psychic manifestations. He then slaps down his remaining cards as his turns come with a vigor hitherto undisplayed. These methods of relief, while sue- cessful in preventing strokes, must be used with finesse if the victim would not damage his sporting reputation, When used in too free or obvious a fashion they lent of verbal rendered in a considerable are the equiva- castigation. But if half repressed manner which implies that the user is struggling for control they will in nowise hz reputation but, instead, win admiration for his stout fellow q The HEY'RE speeding up production Of all motor cars today ; m his llities. Turn ne factories are hummir And the men are too, they say. They're happy to be back at work; Production has increased ; An armistice has been declared; The firing has ceased. And we've just heard what an install- ment collector does when he drinks too much at a party. He goes out and rings doorbells. Well, the frost will soon be out of and then the farmers and golfers can start their Spring plowing. the ground “Here's a good one for dunking, chief!” 17 comicbooks.com