Judge — December 1932 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

About Town Knife—place for beer opener, wine dittoer, caviar can dittoer, and latch key for someone's | apt; Twin Ped Clock, has two faces enabling the wife to wake you and order you to work; Old Oaken Bucket—a keg worked like a well, | churning you out a nice little snort of life preserver fluid; Trick Beer Glasses—foam and all—for fooling the more simple minded of your friends; Duplicate Bridge Boards with Washable Scoring Pad—for big contractors who toil not but like to decorate fanny; Electric Speedway— a game of chance on a motorcycle track; Swivel Seat for Duck Hunters —for big business Nimroders—(no stenographer included). HILE from Hammacher Schlem- mer who have a nice big new store on West 57th Street thus mak- ing it unnecessary to pass thru Union Square and the Red Gauntlet, these: (Incidentally I met Mr. Schlemmer. He is no longer a gnome with a beard but has eaten his spinach and his nuxated iron and is | now grown into a dapper and stal- wart American executive) Broken Cork Puller—better than two pen knives and a lot of swearing; Silent Valet—hang all your clothes in one place and be able to find them in the morning; Controllo Egg Timer, rings a bell when eggy’s done; Tablecloth Clamp, for hosts troubled with guests who do the tablecloth yanking trick; Crumb Sweeper—Bissel up your crumbs if you still leave any on the table; Box for old Razor Blades— here you are, Scotland; Illuminated House Numbers—hey there, F.P.A.; “Do You Think You Can, I Bet You Can’t” Stein—a man sized dare and a man sized stein—capacity one qt. Pilsner; Lemon Slice Server — squeeze the pesky lemon on your fish without getting a shower; Cherry Pitter—if you will pit cherries; Toasting Fork, for marshmallow fiends—also makes a velly good back scklatcher; Smoke Consumers—fire eaters par excellence for hot and smoking parties; Shu-Saver, modern- ized shoe tree; Scurlock Kontainer- ctte—portable pantry for left overs at meals; Burns’ Orange & Grape- fruit Peelers —squirtless ways of dealing with the humid citrus; Lobster cracker—for the good that’s left in the claws; Roast Twister Arounder—turn the roast with a flick of the wrist and no tears; Cake Breaker—for cake-eaters; Edmund Top-off—actually and irresistably re- moves immovable tops to olive jars, ete.; Triplex Icetongs, for Frigid- arians. Back Pillow for the bath—sit in your tub and sleep, map campaigns, (Page 24, please) A A voice that light Nicur comes on and spreads a blan- ket of darkness upon sleeping cities and towns. Here and there a lone policeman. In the distance a clock tolling the hour. In the dark silence of the night, there is one light forever burning + one voice that is never stilled. That light is the light in the tele- phone exchange. That voice is the voice of your telephone. A city without telephones would be a city afraid—a city of dread. For the telephone brings security. Its very presence gives a feeling of safety and nearness to everything. In times of stress and sudden need it has a value beyond price. In the business and social activities of forever burning... stilled hever a busy day it is almost indispensable. The wonder of the telephone is not the instrument itself but the system of which it is the symbol . « the system which links your own telephone with any one of eighteen million others in the United States and thirteen millions in other countries. Every time you use your tele- phone you have at your command some part of a country-wide net- work of wires and equipment, and as many as you need of a great army of specialists in communication. There are few, if any, aids to modern living that yield so much in safety, convenience andachieve- \) ment as your telephone. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY . 25 days to Christmas FOR HIM— A better Golf Game— A score 5 to 8 strokes lower than average— A drive 7 to 12 yds. longer. A full second reaches a 400 yd. green. One dozen new construction SILVER KINGS with built in PATENTED DISTANCE $7.80 per doz. at your pro or dealer. shot that John Wanamaker—New York-—Sole Di EE ributors comicbooks.com