Judge — December 1932 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Greetings from Mac EAR JUNIOR: I’ve been lounging tonight in ront of my grate fire—gas logs to ‘ou—planning a veddy merry Christ- nas for you, pal! I spent the whole ifternoon with my nose pressed gainst cold shop windows—looking tt this tie and that tie! But, tumped at decision, I came home sith my dollar still pinned inside my hirt. And, as I said, I’ve been ittin’ here thinkin’! And, just like hat, I thought of a gift for you . a gift that leaves my dollar inned inside my shirt, too! Junior, I give you girls! Lots of hem! Girls you’ve always admired nd tried to get the telephone num- ters of when my back was turned! “ome of them you've got to be care- ful with—others, well, they can take it! Some are expensive to buzz about with, but knowing you and your keen nose for expense, I know you'll soon weed them out and make honest working girls of them. So-o-o—Junior, for better or for worse, I give you girls—or at least their ’phone numbers, and a merry merry Christmas to you, you ol’ thingamabob! Chiddio! JEFFERSON. Buy Me IF you were to ask me where to get the money to defray this year’s Xmas Gifte Liste, I would refer you to Mr. Hoover and his R.F.C. I understand that by putting up a small cash sum as collateral you can borrow any sum for any length of time. The point is, however, you mustn’t be niggardly. Thus, were you to ask for $17.75 to buy Uncle Therwilliger a moustache cup, Aunt Drusilla a set of beer steins and Little Willie something to hurt him- self with, like a time bomb, you would be paid as much attention to as a ten cent piece by a General Motors director. Ah! but if you step up and ask for a million—that is a different container of haddock! Having settled that for you I will now proceed to act as if the depres- sion never existed and you have the necessary wherewithal to make up your Xmas stockings as in former (Page 22, please)