Judge — August 1932 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Free Fish rTCHERE were fifty-eight sea bass in the rumble seat compartment when we got back to town, It was the nicest mess we'd ever caught. We first tried Aunt Bella. “Mighty sweet of you,” said Aunt Bella, “but your uncle John just can’t eat fish. Why don’t you call cousin Mildred?” Cousin Mildred was mighty appre- ciative. In fact, she reproached her- self for not having thought of us last fall during the duck season, but she hadn't been well and the maid was ay for a few days and she knew ‘d-understand. “But I'll tell you at to do,” she added, “get in touch with Aunt Irene. She'll be thrilled.” Aunt Irene wanted to know if the fish were scaled and cleaned. When we told her they weren't she lost a lot of her enthu: m. “We've got such a small place,” she said, “and u know what it means to clean fish kitchenette. So I'll take the will or the deed, dear, but you keep the fish.” Pearl looked at me and I looked at ‘Who among our friends fish?” L asked. Pearl named the Franklyns. I called them but they \ out of town. The Swansons ust leaving on a two week trip and certainly thought that some one else would find more use for our catch, We put through ten phone calls but still no takers for the fish which were beginning to smell up the kitchen. “Well, I'll give them to the janitor,” Il announced. “If our relatives and friends are so ungrateful, certainly Otto will appreciate our thinking of him.” “Sure I love fish,” said Otto, when I] appeared at his door with an arm- ful of sea bass. “I'd be delighted to take them but Mr. Green in apart- ment 5C brought me five brook trout and three pickerel, so we got all the fish we can eat for a couple of days.” The doormen weren't interested. The grocer was living in a furnished room while his wife and kids were in the country. I came back to our apartment with the fish in my arms, We held a conference on fish disposal and by a unanimous vote of two de- cided to dump them down the incin- erator. We'll go fishing again before the summer is over. But the next time we'll either give them to the captain of the boat or throw them right back into the bay. —ARTHUR L, LIPPMANN And Beat It Quickly HESE days if a guy makes a bet- ter salary his relatives will beat a path to his door. BERMUDA ... on ships built especially for pleasure travel... ERE'S the trip everybody wants to take! Bermuda . na Furness ur! You travel on the famous Furne ry vessels. You live in Bermuda a fine hotel. And one purchase covers eve thing, including all meals, at special lo cost vacation rates, Go on the “Monarch of Bermuda,” the only liner afloat off a private h with every room. Not to mention two big tiled ning pools, three night club cafes and a $250,000 dance deck. Or sail on her distinguished running mate the “Franconia,” famous world cruise liner. her ship you'll enjoy the same sur- roundings, the ities, the same superb ocean comfort that European trav- clers enjoy when they go abroad in de luxe first class, So if you go to Bermuda at all, be sure to Furness trip... the greatest value in Bermuda travel today! NEW LOW ALL-EXPENSE RATES 6 days $62 9 days 385 13 days $104 For reservations and further information, apply any authorized tourist agent or Furness Bermuda Line, 34 Whitehall St. (Where Broadway Begins), or 565 Fifth Ave. New York City. FURNESS Leads the way fo BERMUDA comicbooks.com