Judge — March 19, 1932 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Here We Are Again, Folks! + free of bar- bites, and covered with a sunburn that'll keep us. temporarily out of Harlem, Mae and I back from the tourist ju Florida, feeling like a couple of Floyd Gib less shouty, What our don’t’ know, but we're restless want to get on. We'll either speed to (Shanghai or the Democratic Con vention) or hole up in Frank & Jack's Lt of papaya juice racuda les of bonses, only next move'll be we and cover war JUDGE more memory of Outside stan Miami to relay:— Miami, in a huge meadow, two rusting locomotives, gently nudging each other on the schnozzles and locked in’ a mild embrace. It seems that a year ago two Young Men with a Big Idea ght them and ran them down to Florida and ballyhooed a “Crash of the Century.” On a given day they advertised, for the payment you would be privileged to sit in a huge and watch these sters meet in a of so much admission, audience two roaring mon seething, spitting, A NEN RACKET IN CENTRAL PARK and go into training for a drinking expedition around the world, Otherwise, New York seems to have kept going without us, We'd rather expected Jimmy Walker and a welcoming party to usher us out of the Holland Tunnel, but he didn't ap- pear. It seems he couldn't find the entrance or he hadn't got up in time, or he went to some tunnel in the Alps by mistake. But it's all right with us. Anyway, if you're not bored with Floridaceous news, I have just one hissing, rgantuan 80-mile-an-hour It would be the Smash Hit of the Century, ete. ete. Well, sir, the Great Day came and everything was declared O. Ke The press, newsreel and broadhooters were there. crash! The two engineers were primed to open the throttle wide. and jump. The themselves were in’ rare form, champing at the bit te have at each other. But the biggest stecds with went as is sometimes the ease plans—something wrong. First of all, besides the Oak ley section, about six people turned up. and these huddled apprehensivels miles away. The The engineers climbed into their cabs, the a few show, how ever, began, signal was given, the whistles hooted. and away went the doomed iron horses. Naturally, they started slowly, but rt about five miles per hour, and spectator nerves began to tighten, But suddenly, for no good re n, the engineers were » from their cabs, cold-feet first soon were running seen to And the engines, sailing along at some ten miles per hour, came to the meeting pl not like roaring dinosauri but in a resp a couple of able maiden-aunt embrace, with not so much as a clatter of cow-catchers! The promoters fled, lea untold bills unpaid. But their handiwork still large, a symbol of the Broken Dreams of Men with Big Ideas. looms Child’s Play ate, erstwhile friends have been boosting eyebrows at a too no- ticeable gain in my weight. explain, It’s because of hard times. Hard times, you know, brought on this dol est dinner at Childs’—"Eat as all you Lemme wish —no extra I've been getting by on this x meal a day and an olive or at odd yearnings. ‘The other eve- about half-past eight cating since seven, s that tired she had to sit down at the table with me and rest—an asinine hunch hay-wired me! [tho it would be simply swell to take the dol- lar-guest-dinner menu up to a place, like Central Park Casino, and order everything on it, just to see, poo-pa-doop, how much Mr, Childs is and ny waitress say, comicbooks.com