Judge — March 19, 1932 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Soliloquy in Half-Wit Time w I drop the latch? Did I close the door? Had I better go back And look once more? Did I leave the gas Turned part way down? Shall I run straight home Or go to town? Did I le: the iron Attached? Oh, damn, What a hopelessly. silly Gal IT am. —Maroarer Fisipack The Power of Suggestion. Advice to Professionals (Iho haven't asked for it) o THe Prize-Ficut Promoter: Don't be so fussy about the pr s for your bouts. People don't come to see fights—they come so they can talk about them after- wards to friends who didn’t go. Any two porters or messenger boys will pack any house as long as sports writ- ers have to fill a column. Make the seats smaller and nar- rower. You have no idea of the dis- comfort that people will put up with in order to witness a-fight. Loosen up a bit more on the purses for the gladiators. T are young men trying to get along, and twenty thousand dollars for fourteen minutes of cuffing and clinching is little enough. Think of all the cigar smoke they have to inhale. Not to mention their whi ed old mothers sitting anxiously in front of their radios. y to retain the idea that this is a xentleman’s sport, and that one foul low should instantly disqualify. the offender. Pay no attention to pikers who yowl for their money back. Re- member that you are in a business. Besides, a foul in the early rounds will often get vou out in time for the second show at the movies. Be fair to yourself in the matter of prices. Customers will alicays com so why not make a little something out of it? When they shake the bars of the ticket) window and - shrick. “Robber! Crook!" merely remind them that nobody is forcing them to come and pay twenty bucks for a seat two blocks away. ‘The only answer they have yet thought of is accom- > panied by the rustling of a twenty- “ dollar bill in your hand. —Staniey Jones comicbooks.com