Judge — March 19, 1932 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

losing. Well, folksies, I played a co- joke on myself, but education has always cost money. Mind you, I ordered ‘everything on the dollar- guest-dinner menu, Blue-point tomato-juice cocktail, fresh fruit cup, split pea soup, vegetable soup and chicken con- sommeé came to 30. Then a little side dish of hand-painted, I think, radishes and olives—$1.00. Then a half-broiled Spring chicken, beans and baked — potato- broiled lobster, capered dressing, drawn butter, julienne potatoes and fresh green peas—$5.00; grilled ham steak, pineapple ring, brussels sprouts and baked potato—$4.50; broiled salmon, hollan Harvard beets (were tl French fried potatocs— grill: (lamb chops, broiled bac sage, buttered carrots, mashed pota- toes) —S4.15; grapefruit and romaine salad, and hearts of lettuee— D3 nana cream pie, strawberry short cake, devil's food fudge cake, butter- scotch pecan sundae, baked apple with whipped ercam (they had to roller- skate out to the nearest corner drug store for these) —$2.80; coffee, te milk, and hot chocolate (Am I stuffed !)—$1.00, I took these prices home and with the assistance of four friends (auditors out of work), reached a grand total of $37.55. Subtracting Mr. Childs’ leetle dollar from $37.55—I did this slone—leaves $ Don’t mention it, Mr. Childs!) But the next time I go into your 57th and Fifth Avenue place, just take me by the arm and introduce me to that li tle waitress who has the four tables right in the middle of the room, Why in Heck don't you throw a spotlight on her? He Was a Fool, Montreal ? lossa oysters, sweet aise sauce, red!), and I kememben seeing him at the bar of Park Club, and he looked sober. And that night, they tell me, an hour after I saw him, he pulled 1 stunt which proves millionaire play- boys are still havir Here ‘is the tale, and it’s true, or I'm just a dreamer, The young man, we'll call him Fred- dic, was host to some twenty guests at alls. lar Riviera crowd their pictures winning sand-sitting endurances, Came 2 a. m., the swank cocktails, dinner, wine and high- You know, a reg you've seen JUDGE “UATS THE’ DOLLAR GUEST DINNER’ MENU AT CHILDS, GARSONK! BRING ME ENERTTHING 2 ON IT! JUNIOR GETS EIRANAGANTLY SNOOPY! and the proprietor showed of wanting to close. liquidly g. A double scotch and soda all around, and the party went out to the taxis at the curb, There were fourteen cabs, all gyp, in. wait- ing. The host, looking at them, got his idea. He commandeered the en tire transport. Then, simply, he turned to his guests and said, “We're ving to Montreal.” All heads nodded without) squeaking. The host then said, “This first cab is the engine; the second is the coal ¢: °; the third is the baggage car; the fourth is the club car; the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth and thirteenth are all Pullmans. [Il think up their names en route. The four- teenth and last cab will be the obser- vation car. Our first stop will be at a delicatessen for white rock, ginger- ale, oranges, and very cracked ice— maybe sandwiches, too. Don't tell any- -bye.” Hop in Gyp Express sercee The delicatessen stop was made the baggage car filled. had appointed called out, “ stop.” and signs Everyone was away. and The host, who himself conductor, est Club, Harlem, next away they went. It was pretty hard because of tratlie lights to keep the Gyp Express coupled to- gether, but eventually it pulled up at the Nest Club canopy intact, except the observation ear somehow had got- ten right up next to the baggage The host and his guests spent an hour at the Nest Club, where wet stuff is not sold. There wasn’t a flask in the crowd, During the hour at the Nes Club, the party drank white rock, and such thing f Certain passengers of the Gyp press began getting clear in the head. At the end of the hour one couple sort of sidled off the dance-floor and up the steps and out to a Pullman, The Pull- man was directed to take them home somewhere in New York, This con- tinued until all had left except the host and a coupla couples. And when they quit the Nest Club, there was nothing left of the Gyp Express but the engine, the b: re car Pullman or two. T'm sorry, but this ix the end of the story. and a Park Rogues t's a racket and very much a dirty old shame, and works this. way. Your children (if any) are out in Central Park with nurse, gathering up armfuls of health when a couple of ingratiating gents appear (Page 27, please) bearing