Judge — September 26, 1931 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

———E— Saved from Disgrace (New York City Officials must use their 1931 autos another year) A POxtty politician sat a-sobbing on his bed Surrounded by his faithful staff of clerks. “Oh, why are you so lachrymos: secretary said, “And why have y' water-works? The portly politician choked a Demo- cratic sob, The portly politician sadly sighed, And heedless of the wisdom of disere- tion in his job He loudly plied: his 1 turned on the blew his nose ere he re- Crorus “The Honorable Commissioners of Sewers and of Docks, The Honorable Commissioners of Fire, The Honorable Commissioner of Buildings and of Blocks May have to change a sparkplug or a tire. And I, the High Commissioner of Ferryboats and ‘Tugs, imed by all) Administration Czar, For twelve more months must listen to the weird asthmatic chugs Ace! That sang an obbligato for my car. The Mayor played me dirty and I'm going to tell The Boss, I'm going to tell The Boss the Mayor's through, ‘The lacquer on my limousine has lost its former gloss— I never knew that I could feel so blue—Boo, hoo— Alack, alas, what ever shall I do?” His 95 assistants (who were plenty in the know) Proceeded then with measures for relic And every single one of them con- tributed some dough And bought a brand new auto for the chief. Again that portly gentleman sings loudly in his tub, Again a smile is seen upon his face, And often in the twilight in his Demo- cratic club He sings the song that saved him from disg. “The Honorable Commissioners of nd of Docks,” ete. —Artuur Lippmann wn Ss Undercover Stuff New York newspapers are said to be planning to cut down their accounts of football games this season. We don’t think that will be fair to those spectators who spend most of their time under the grand stand. from a mountain first devised and installed circulating ice COOL AS A DRAUGHT ° Spring... No spring-fed mountain stream splashing over jagged rocks is more invigorating than the refreshing draught that runs from the tap labeled ‘Ice Water” in every Statler bathroom. And, surely, none is more wel- come to the traveler. ‘There it is to quench his thirst... instantly avilable at all hours of the day or mght. .. a cool, sparkling-clear supply of pure, filtered water. Behind the tap, in cork insulated pipes, it is in constant circulation, It moves through the cooling coils, up through the hotel and then back through the cooling coils again; so that it is always live palatably cold, Before the first Statler was built, thirst was not as easily quenched as now. You rang and for ice water and then you endured both the unpleasantness of waiting and the inconven- ience of admittin The water and ice a bell boy to your room, that were brought you ly, and you—if you were like most—felt impelled were only too often handled insani by common custom to tip. But the Statler Hotels put anend to these inconveniences. They first built a private bathroom with shower in every room, and water systems, These hotels did away with many other discomforts, too. They were the first to see that a bed-head reading lamp, a full-length mirror, free radio receplion and a morning newspaper under the door were necessary to establish that criterion of comfort and con- venience —the modern hotel. And the Statler organization does not rest content with its achievements, but secks constantly an even higher degree of perfection. HOTELS STATLER BOSTON BUFFALO CLEVELAND DETROIT ST. tours (a NEW YORK, Hole! Pennylania BF comicbooks.com