Judge — September 26, 1931 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

P rovesson Hornsuece of Cavendish College had the first early season practice in History 27-Q with a squad of forty-five yesterday. Although the college does not open officially until September 24th, the professor was anxious to get his men well limbered up ahead of time so that they would be in full swing by the time he his first lecture on the Justinian Code. The first practice consisted of sim- ple limbering-up exercises, including pencil sharpening, adjusting and pol- ishing glasses, and a short five-minute sitting drill. The sitting drill will in- crease in length each day until the men are suthciently hardened to per- mit them to go through a grueling Fortunately several hour's lecture. “Remind me to send this Bozo a Building when we gi Modeled After Football star members of the squad have kept in condition during the summer by playing chess. The training table has started and the men are rapidly rounding into Al condition, thanks to the usual diet of Smith Brothers’ cough drops and slip- pery elm. By the time the first offi- cial lecture is scheduled it is expected that all throats will be in tip-top shape id that there will be no coughing to disturb the professor's harangues. Last fall it looked for a while as though the season would be ruined by a bad epidemic of hacking, and there is no telling how disastrous it might have been if the men had not finally found themselves—and Old Golds. Next week the squad will undergo wenne postcard of the Emyire State et home, Minnie.” “What's the idea, Mame?” “Oh, I know what all these men are thinking about!” 20 Escavina Convict—Cripes! I for- got all about the ball and chain. daily drills in tackling the early Anglo-Saxon kings, falling on dropped fountain pens, passing extra notebook filler paper, and bucking the dean for special cut privileges. History 27-Q being a nine o'clock course, the men have also been given daily work-outs with the alarm clock and now turning out of bed in’ encouraging fashion, Taking all this into consid- doalso the fact that th n men who took the course last 5 are back—the squad should phenomen ly encouraging season. —Parke Cummines Future Conversation “T20y) will you kindly let me have a dime? i haven't “What! Do you me you're actually asking for mone Why, don’t you know the commereia depression is over “Yes, madam, I know that. This is the most prosperous nation in history now. Unemployment is a thing of the past; business is booming again. I alize all that, madam—but can’t you e have just a dime?” “And in ‘spite of this prosperity, you pretend to need money?” “But, madam, I am destitute. Oh, I was well to do on I had a home on Long Island, fine cars, fir everything. Then my business was wiped out. And now... “There, there, my man—don't take it like that. Here's a dolls What happened to your business? Did it fail during the...’ “Oh, no, madam—it wasn’t the de- pression that ruined me. This con- founded prosperity is to blame! My business? I used to write ‘Good Times Are Coming’ articles for the papers.” —O. R. clothes, comicbooks.com