Judge — September 12, 1931 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

apers there now (some of them y protrude six stories above the vround), and if you live in New York ind are used to sleeping amid the sound of riveting and can't get enough din due to the depression in the build- ing business, you can catch up in your sleeping at Montreal. I spent a night in Montreal, during which [ polished off all I had to do, including quite a cargo of small col- ored fluids. The next morning, slight- ly the better for a Jr. cocktail (14 Pix Tp, V4 as off y style. ly, I found out they do not cash checks (called cheques) in Can- home fact, they don’t smile or c The rumor that all a Can: nowadays is sit around American to appear with of rubber check is all wet. Also they have a very good Ford hospital in town, where they can over- haul your ear, from valve cap to trans- mission, in about six hours, Either that or they give you a new car, I can’t remember which, That they charge enough, I do remember. There is a 40% duty on all auto parts, so it would be wiser to come by foot than auto. The Mount Royal, Ritz and Windsor hotels, of course, are quite Judge Juniorish, and Jack Denny's music is swell at the first named. Anyway, I made for the border the morning after, and after a happy drive from the land of the spree to the home of the crave, I was held up at the border at the Trout River, N, Y., port ting for an large piece JUDGE by the most lobster-faced, nmigration inspector wom- bore, but was finally released after a bitter, World-War exchange of pleasantries in which everything went, In other words, for 'Evven's sake, should you go to Canada, go plastered with tattooed American flags, birth certificates, report cards, fingerprints and letters from your minister. It’s a cinch to get in but tough to get out. However, I've got a good idea. going to get married and, with eredentials, drive to € then come back with my wife in in the rumble scat. 1, who will be driving, will explain, when the offi- cials discover her, that she is my wife and a wee mite eccentric. Which would probably lead to an argument (something wrong there) and false arrest. But then we'd have a sw case against the government, for what could they, in such cires, really have on Mr. and Mrs. Judge Junior? There's no law against eccentrics trav- cling by sack, is there? Home after this thru the Adiron- dacks, which are exclusively beauti- ful, and down thru New Hampshire, where the roads are pretty poor and terribly marked and where they'd charge a toll over the bridgework in your mouth if they had a little more nerve, Eye-Queues TT next one has been sent in by so many fans (anxious to be origi- nal), I’m going to run it baksheesh. It would be impossible to split the three dollahs due into as many parts as would be necessary to pay out to all its senders-in: A man got on a strect- car and proffered the conductor a dol- lar bill, The conductor said “I can’t change a dollar, mister, but I can change a five!” How come? After each man had shaken hands once with each of the other men a gathering, it was found that 66 hand- shakes had been exchanged. How many men were present Last week’ ». 1: Put the hankie on the table, fold the arms, placing the right hand over the left elbow and the left hand under the right elbow. Then grasp the handkerchief and pull the hands thru without letting ¢ No. 2: Little Cynthi i you will look at the second hand, you will see that it forms two sets of cir- s concentric to each other—made by cach end of the hand. Hence her figures included all of Oglethorpe’s and 1,440 besides: the number formed by the small end of the second hand. Vanishing Americans om: years ago the Hungarian patri- ots presented the city of New York with a fine statue of Kossuth, the revolutionist. It was unveiled with great solemnity and ceremony. Speeches were made, guns fired, and (Continued on page 28) JUNIOR HAS “ROUBLE “BRINGING “Te LEGAL WIFE IN “FROM CANADA! at comicbooks.com