Judge — June 13, 1931 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WIG! Labrador for Sale V{¥ breakfast was completely ruined * a coupla weeks ago by the milk- My milkman also delivers my Herald Tribune. He places the news- paper on the stoop and sits the bottle of Grade“ man. (there | go bragging iain) on top of it. wet bottom the bottle always leaves a damp pressed on the page. And, for ho reason except that Dm easily : | always read first the news within the milk bottle’s mark. This particular morning the ring Colony Betieved Near Bankeuptes neircled the headline, wfound- land in Crisis—May Sell Labrador.” L blanched at my bacon while this tremendous piece of news sunk within me. I had known since Sixth B g raphy days that Newfoundland was Britain’s oldest colony, I believe the first monocle mine was discovered there. It was sad to know the sun ud set so long on a British posses- sion that it had laid an egg! Yep!— Newfoundland is so eco- nomically phooey that she’s forced to put Labrador on the market for prac tically nothin $100,000,000.00 to tt. I say practically because there’s just the digi + lotta ciphers! Unidentified have ex othing 1 and ur interests Of course and find European offered that figure. they're unidentified! ‘Try werement Cheek F JUDGE LAT anybody with $100,000,000.00. But suppose it is a bona fide offer. Newfoundland’s come-on is that Labrador is lousy with timber, mineral, and water sup- ply resour s. Unexplored, of foundland herself had explored and tound lead pencils, rubies, and lotsa she wouldn't want to sell, Having had ewfoundland dog at he in Kansas, I certainly know Newfound- land well enough to know that!!! Now, if I had $100,000,000.00 my landlord didn't know about and the chance to buy Labrador, you can betcha I wouldn't go into the deal with my eyes shut. Just suppose I bought Labrador without exploring it and then got up there and found that Labrador’s only resource was 100,000,000.00° Eskimo dogs and none of them liked me and wanted to be friends! Consider t ituation further; if the d were friendly, I'd whistle they'd follow me back to New York. Fortunately my flat is in a building where dogs are al- lowed. I have one room and bath. Naturally I'd have to take an extra room for the 100,000,000,00 Eskimo dogs. » there'd be complaints from the maiden lady who has the flat across the hall. She's al- course. If} “chaser,” or WANTED “70 — pe FRIFNDS/P (seae JUNIOR —| CANT DRAW ESKIMO DOGS, So | PUTIN ) ways complaining about something. “IT could have had her put out on account of a canary she had long ago if I'd wanted to be nasty Every morning I'd muzzle the 100,- 000,000.00 dogs and take them out ir Gramerey Park for a walk. If you live on the borders of Gramercy Park you're allowed to carry a key to it. [ could put the 100,000,000.00 dogs in the park, unleash them, lock the park ‘ and go off to work. On imy rom work I'd stop at the tessen and pick up 300, corner deli 000,000.00 puppy biscuits and toss ‘em over the park fence. Simple? Simpl Then I'd take them back to my flat and teach them to walk on their hind legs and then I'd retire for the night and they could sleep on the foot of my b I have certainly, I hope, made it clear what unidentified Euro- pean interests might be up against if they sink $100,000,000.00 in’ Labra- dor without exploring it first or at least: sending those a man up to see about (Continued on page 28) SORT OF SEALTHAM INSTEAD — Yours — f4c— at comicbooks.com