Judge — January 31, 1931 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

rf mn- ur- by tel. ght oir on- ter. ant ast, , “Don't bother, I just want the coupon.” JUST THE BEST TIME By Questix Revxonns “Yor have a complaint, madam? You bought those stock- ings here only two months ago and now they e in shreds? Pul-l madam, what do you think the cast iron? You don't expect to keep a pair of stock two months, I hope. Why you couldn't even keep a husband that lon, . ++ The nerve of that woman, Mamie. She re- minds me of that hot mamma who trundles up to the counter 1 few weeks ago waving one stocking. “TL bought a pair of sheer hefore yesterday,” she squawks, * them, What shall I do?” I says to her, “Dearie, either get yourself a wooden leg or save that one stocking till next Xmas and then hang it over the firepl: But oh, Mamie, I forgot to tell you. I was out with my and we had just the best time. And, Mamie, iv proposed to me, 1, Mamie, you know that Jack is now working at the Plumbers and Me nies’ Bridge and Whist Club, and the other night a woman comes in with her heart interest, and her heart interest immediately starts riding around in side cars. Now, after this pineapple has lapped up about twelve of these side cars, Jack suggests that he switch to something lighter, like dynamite or something. Just then the guy turns ial hose here the day already I lost one of bit green and says, “S'funny how dizzy you get riding in side cars.” Then he goes to sleep with a thud and Jack puts him in a back room to rest up for a while. So the won s to Jack, “Big Boy, if you are a perfect gentleman, you would take me home on account of I am afraid to go home alone, as this city of ours is getting ter- rible and a girl is not safe walking around alone at four in the morning.” So the boss tells Jack to take her home and Jack does same. She is very nice and she tells Jack that she is a star er and she can tell all about the past, present and future y reading the stars. She s he should come up to her place some time and see her, and if he I wonder girl he should bring her and it will not cost anything, although she 23 usually charges like a saw buck or even a double saw buck for what she calls a reading. » last night I and Jack were out and we had nothing to do, so we went up to sce this star reader. Her name is Mrs. Perriwinkle. She was nice but she did ask the sil- liest questions. Like she asked m “What do you dream about at night? I could only blush and say, “Oh, Mrs. Perriwinkle.” "I see,” she says when you was born. “April 1,” I says to her, “And please do not make any cracks about April Fool because e year I hear them all on my birthe “Do you have strong dislikes?” she asks, looking at a chart. “Dearie, yes,” I tell her, “Like I hate to get hit in the eye by a baked apple. I also am not very crazy about sing- ing in the rain and I am never happy when I have sand in my shoes.” (Continued on page 28) And now, tell me “Another transatlantic flyer?” “Nai—azwindow washer!” comicbooks.com