Judge, 1931-01-17 · page 11 of 48
Judge — January 17, 1931 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine: Dr. Seuss's Satirical "Animals" This is a Dr. Seuss humor piece from Judge magazine featuring three absurdist inventions disguised as animal discoveries. Each represents contemporary annoyances rendered ridiculous: **The Faucet-Sitting Perakeet** satirizes poor bathroom fixture design (hot/cold handles installed backwards), proposing a bird that pecks your hand as a "solution." **The Cholmondelet** mocks useless things given forced utility—a creature valued solely for its disapproving expression, credited with reducing divorces in a fictional Idaho town by 14 percent through shame alone. **The V-T Blippard** parodies pedantic activist groups. The "Anti-V League" objects to "V" replacing "U" in "Public Library" and releases trained animals to correct the "error." This satirizes both prescriptivist language crusades and overzealous civic organizations. The humor relies on Seussian invented creatures and deadpan absurdity—treating ridiculous problems with mock-serious solutions, poking fun at both consumer complaints and social reform movements of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE Animals That are Making Our Land a Better Place to Live In By Dr. Seuss aren Perakeet ROBABLY the greatest development in bathtub firtures since the invention of the bung is the Faucet- Sitting Perakeet. This bird is a godsend if your faucets ren installed hackwards—the hot on the right instead of the left. When you instinctively grasp the right handle for your cold morning shower, the perakeet saves you a scalding with a reminding nip on the digits. have Tue Cuo.mMonpeLet F all American animals, the Cholmondelet has always been considered the most use- less. Recently, however, the government decided to utilize his most outstanding characteristic . his Look of Reproach. As a test case, they in- stalled a Cholmondelet at the mail-bor on the corner of Thurk Street, Guimp, Idaho. In one year divorces on Thurk Street, Guimp, Idaho, decreased over 14 per cent. a Tur V.-T. B: NE of the most laudable societies in the country today is the Anti-V League, a group that objects to the use of “V" instead of “U” in spelling Public Library. The league crusades in offend- ing communities by releasing hordes of V-Tagging Blippards— animals trained to tag a “V’" whenever they spy one. Only when the library promises to come across with a “U” does the league call off its blippards. comicbooks.com