Judge, 1931-01-17 · page 12 of 48
Judge — January 17, 1931 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"The Unkindest Cut"**: A brief joke about a chef guarding his steak-enameling secret, with commentary comparing a "bull in a china shop" to a "bull in Wall Street"—suggesting Wall Street speculation/chaos is as destructive as literal property damage. **"Oops! Sorry! I thought this was a speakeasy!"**: A courtroom scene where someone crashes through the door, confusing the judge's bench with an illegal speakeasy—satirizing Prohibition-era confusion and the prevalence of underground bars. **"Gambler's Luck"**: A longer narrative about shipwreck survivors gambling with bone dice. A woman appears at their hut; the narrator rolls double sixes and claims victory. The joke appears to concern whether supernatural luck or deception determines outcomes in gambling. **"Marooned Alpine Climber"**: A cartoon about someone drinking brandy in distress. The page mixes social satire (Wall Street excess, Prohibition) with humor about gambling and vice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE The Unkindest Cut “Wait fellow “Why—er—I guess so, sir!” “Fine! See if he'll tell you the seeret of enameling steaks!” er, is the chef a confiding And a bull in a china shop would not attract half as much attention these days as a bull in Wall Street. “Ooops! Sorry! I thought this was a speakeasy!” Gambler’s Luck Git stood there, framed in the door- proved uy pleasantly mist way of our hut, lovely, young, ap- ‘There was a tense pealing, her rag Then, half con- with a meaning glance at the two of cealing, half revealing the beauty of — us, Jones drew from within his tat her slender figure. We three scare- tered shirt two bits of bone. “High “John, will you please look at crows seated about our box-table had = man wins,” he said. He shook and the mouse-trap? I just heard thought ourselves the only surv cast—the number was six. Then it snap.” of the wreck—this sudden apparition Withers gathered up the dice, there was the click of bone on hone, and once ¢ in the cubes clattered across the boards. ‘They stopped. one on four, the other on fi Quietly [took the dice. I let them rattle in my closed palm, opened my hand and threw. On the two exposed squares our three eager pairs of eyes read the silent an six and six! With a twisted grin I turned to the trembling figure at the door. htening myself, I bowed deeply. I said, “it seems I have won. Unless, by some hitherto unknown feat of magic, you can beat dou- ble sixes I get the last can of sardi —R, Wernenie, Jr. Vanishing Americans Red Men, Magistrates, Fellows. who Dropped Punts in the Big Gs Promoters, and Endur- Marooxep Atpine Crimuen—You tell Joe he better quit cuttin’ that brandy! ance Flyers. 10 comicbooks.com ——————