Judge — November 29, 1930 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A Résumé of Progress QU prehistoric ancestors killed ach other with clubs and stone ixes. We have machine guns, poison gas, revolvers and sawed-off shotguns. They made wine, We make gin. y chiseled crude pictures on rocks. We have futuristic artists. Their chiefs held powwows before raiding an encimy camp, Our big busi- ness men go into conference before underselling their rivals. Their children wasted time in crude games designed to increase — their physical prowess. Our boys go to col- to play football. They risked their lives in combat with wild animals to get food and clothing. We ruin our health in of- fices to buy fur coats and club sand wiches, They told monstrous lies to each other about the wonders of far coun- tries. We have chambers of com- mere ‘They sat around their camp-fires ind chanted songs full of all kinds of nonsense. We turn on the radio and hoop-a-doop. —Asia Kacowan Unemployed Perhaps one reason why ministration got a slap election was because so many were too busy to vote. And Ham Lewis’ clection at last provides the Senate with a full set of whiskers for showing which way the wind blows. Bum—Yes, sir, I've seen better days!! “Well, so have I! f Suggestions for Stimulating Business [screase size of yard-sticks to 48 inches, thus creating a market for 3311/3 per cent. more yardstick lumber. trombone players per foot of nd limit each player to 3,456 performance, thereby giving work to more trombonists. Authorize national goldfish and canary census to give employment to thousands in cach State. al of old games so tment stores, in addition to hir- ing backgammon and badminton in- structors, will employ experts to teach customers how to play shinny, duck- “Y’can rave all you want to about your Democrats and Republicans, but on-the-rock, mumbly-peg and hop- you'll never get me to admit this country is economically sound till I’m scotch, eatin’ regularly.” —Curt Jonsson 15 comicbooks.com