Judge — July 12, 1930 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE The Hell of It / oO» MAN Biumstumpr died, / They gave him a grand funeral. The papers gave him 1 headlines and the 572 stores of Blumstumpf, Inc., closed for two hours as a mark of respect. The Bishop himself read the funeral service. “Our loss,” he said, “is Heaven's gain.” But even as he eulogized the Blumstumpf virtues, Blum- stumpf was talking with the devil. “You have a nice place here,” said Blumstumpf, “despite the heat. The trouble though is that the place has a bad reputation. You can't build business without good will. first thing we must do is to build up the reputation, We need a slogan.” “Where do you get that ‘we’ stuff?” interrupted the devil. Yow let me think,” said Blumstumpf easily. “A slogan. > We must have a slogan. How's this: ‘Hell—a good place to live in, or ‘Have a hot time in hell, or simply ‘Go to hell?” ¢ Blumstumpf a queer look. ras being a bit screwy,” he said. “What ou trying todo? Make a resort out of this place?” “What's doing, varlet?” “That's it, a resort,” replied Blumstumpf, rubbing his “They're reviving Shakespeare.” hands in satisfaction. “But more than that. It must be the one and only re- sort. It is plain to see that you ha permitted Hades to run down at the pr heel. There's no enthusiasm, no com- munity pride. ee " “Let's start by getting the inhabi J tants working together for a bigger }' and better Hades. We'll organize a = " Chamber of Commerce. f Ay Speaker's Bur F have some of the greatest orators tha ever lived down here—lawyers, con- ators. Quite likely lented folk shoveling should be shouting the gressmen and. se you have these coal when th virtues of hel The devil was mopping his brow un ole = and at old man Blumstumpf in alarm. Blumstumpf, however, was | Can Ownen—But I told you I only wanted a quart of oil! hardly started. | For the Safety of the Public “Panvon me, sir, but we'll have to y rs search your car.” : “What's the idea? You fellas pro- \ / hibition agent “No. We're a highway patrol, and 8 our job is to search every automobile . with an out-of-the-state license.” “I Trying to keep tourists t isn’t it, either nouth germs from Mon- mister. We're paid to _ y of those things.” ou afraid we “Wrong a keep out worse’ “Well, just what are cht bring into your E Stein songs from Maine.” —Cuer Jounson “I'd be ashamed to show my face in an outfit like that!” 4 comicbooks.com