Judge, 1930-03-08 · page 9 of 36
Judge — March 8, 1930 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Satire Analysis This page satirizes **international naval disarmament conferences** of the 1920s-30s, when world powers negotiated limits on military vessels. Five diplomats (American, Italian, Japanese, British, Italian) debate reducing their fleets with absurd logic. The satire works by having diplomats propose increasingly ridiculous "sacrifices"—scrapping the Panama Canal, West Point football program, and the Leaning Tower of Pisa. References like **Richard Halliburton** (a famous 1920s adventurer planning to swim the Canal) and **Harry's New York Bar** anchor the humor in contemporary celebrity/landmarks. The joke: diplomatic negotiations about weapons reduction devolve into nonsensical barter involving unrelated national treasures, suggesting the conferences themselves were equally farcical. The lower cartoon shows a child arriving home from convent school—context unclear, likely a separate satirical piece about education or family life. The overall message mocks how serious international talks about disarmament become exercises in protecting national pride rather than genuine security measures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Suddenly the five solemn diplomats turned toward the door. The news- paper men were entering, er for news. The chairman rose ad- dressed them thus: “Gentlemen of the press, you may announce to the waiting world that the five nations are agreed on the main issues. Tomorrow we will meet in con- ference to discuss schooners. The United States is holding out for a cruis- ing ratio of 2.75 per cent. in the light schooner class. —Jack Crurtr Then there was the college student who thought up so many bright cracks he simply couldn't get along with only “LM see you anon,” said the fond father as he bid his daughter good- bye at the door of the convent. “If they retain Harry's New York Bar, which is a menace to navigation, I don’t see why we can’t unserap our old second-line cruisers,” said the American diplomat. “We don't want them for fighting, but our naval recruit- ing posters advertise that we have some boats, and naturally we don’t want to disappoint the boy The Italian diplomat said: “All right, but how about scrapping West Point?” “We can't,” the American diplomat answered; “they have a peach of a football team for next fall.” The Japanese diplomat said: “I'll give you the battle cruiser Kongo and a silk kimono for a pair of tickets on the fifty-yard line.” The American diplomat threw his head back and laughed till the tears rolled down his cheeks. The Italian diplomat said: “I hon- estly believe that if we give up four battleships, your country ought to serap the Panama Canal.” “That's impossible,” replied the American diplomat. “It belongs to a chap named Richard Halliburton, This spring he's going to swim through it under water, with one foot in back of his neck, for Bobbs-Merrill.” “T'll tell you what. If Italy will scrap her aeroplane carrier and’ straighten the Tower of Pisa, I'll give up fudge during Lent,” the British diplomat said, tapping his monocle on his thumb. The Italian diplomat said: “That wouldn’t be parity. You give up sub- marines for Lent and we'll lower the tonnage on minestrone soup, sal: and gondolas.” “Hurray—home at last!” comicbooks.com