Judge, 1930-03-08 · page 8 of 36
Judge — March 8, 1930 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Naval Conference" — Judge Magazine This page satirizes naval disarmament negotiations among world powers. Five diplomats debate battleship ratios in a London conference room. The cartoon depicts them as stubbornly deadlocked: an American diplomat argues for scrapping twenty cruisers, the French diplomat counters with demands for fifteen battleships and rice supplies, while figures bicker over exact vessel ratios (90 percent, 100-franc notes, etc.). The humor mocks diplomatic posturing and nationalist self-interest masquerading as negotiation. The bottom cartoon about "Swiss chamois" leapers appears unrelated—likely a separate joke about mountain climbers. The satire suggests international arms-reduction talks produce endless quibbling rather than meaningful agreement.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Naval Conference give solemn diplomats, dressed in the conventional frock coats of big parley, sat round a mahogany table in the conference room at London. On the center of the lay a wind-up toy battleship and a sledge hammer. The diplomats puffed on their two-shilling cigars, blew heavy billows of smoke toward the ceiling and said nothing. At length the chairman broke the tense silence: “Gentlemen of the Naval Parley, we have been here for some weeks, I've lost track of the exact time, to discuss dis- armament and naval parity among five great powers. So far we have gotten nowhere but on the front page. If we don’t act quickly, the news- papers will begin putting us in the sports section. What have you to say to this problem?” The American diplomat said: “If A scrapped twenty- two cruisers in four days and B scrapped the cruiser Kongo in half the time that it took A and C, scrapping together, to demolish five capital ships, working twice as fast and scrapping three times as hard as B and A, how many ships were scrapped and how long did it take?” “Repeat the question again, will you? Was it marbles “Hello, Pop!” ines that A had origi- "asked the Italian diplomat, raising his hand and squirming in his seat. The Japanese diplomat said: “We want more than nine - The Pathé people make a lousy L allow you fifteen bat- tleships if you promise to scrap 15,000 valets and 5,000 bushels of rice,” said the chair- ma The American diplomat As fi I'm con- » they can have 100 bat- tleships if they’ only juggling with feet.” “Well, so much for battle- ships, light cruisers, 14-inch guns, and rice,” exclaimed the French diplomat. The American diplomat rose to his feet and shouted: “Fifty-four-forty or fight!” “You're faded,” replied the French diplomat, tossing a 100-frane note on the table. The American diplomat said: “I think that the French diplomat ought to be satisfied with a ratio of 90 per cent. That would be cight light cruisers, four battleships, carry- ing 500 sailors each with mustaches, Harry's New York Bar and the Folies Bergére.” as stop barrels their submarines Why the Swiss chamois are such wonderful leapers. 6 comicbooks.com