Judge — March 8, 1930 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fistic Marvel Hollow! Wiseacres Aghast on Bout’s Eve By S. J. Perelman New Yorx, March 6.—Pugilistic circles stood aghast tonight and drummed a palsied tattoo on the arm of their chair with the announcement that Primo Carnera, giant I heavyweight, is hollow. ‘The discov- ery was made by Red Havoc, a spar- ring partner of Carnera, the former soldier, now in Mufti, New Jersey, training for his impending bout at Eppis Field. According to Red Havoc an THE HAND OF THE LAW IS PRACTICALLY EVERY WHERE JUDGE and Kid Carnage, both sparring part- ners of the Lovable Lith, they were engaged in a three-cornered bout with the Bounding Basque when one of them inadvertently loosened the Mar- seilles Mastodon’s four front teeth with a hammer he was carrying. The Genoese Goliath's ire was aroused and he shouted, “I'll rend Havoc and strew Carnage around here before I get through!” Catching him off hi guard, a bystander hit him several times with a shovel and the Drowsy Dane retired the canvas for a snooze. Scarcely two minutes had to Here’s a little bit of eppis a floorwalker can stencil on his bean in lieu of Sue— that? Sue—I don’t knox on the underworld, men. chere it was, it was so foggy! Throw out the hair-net! a toupee. He—London's the foggiest place in the world! wan, I’ve been in a much foggier place. He—IWWhere was The lid is clapsed when Carnage and Havoc heard voices issuing from within him. Rubbing their eyes in amazement, the pair rubbed their eyes in amazement and listened. “Why, that sounds like Jack Fir- po’s voice,” exclaimed Havoc. “The other sounds like Luis Angel Dempsey,” said Carnage nervously. “If I didn’t see Dempsey sitting the on the sidelines I'd think it was him “Let's find out if that really is Dempsey there,” proposed Havoc. “Maybe it’s only a mounte- hank mountebanking as) Dempsey.” The two then leaned on the ropes in front of the erstwhile champion: “Well, it sure is a nice day, Havoc tentatively. “Yes, sir, it sure is a swell day.” agreed Carnage looking pl their idol, The latter rer heeding, his eyes closed. Finally a fly buzzed about his nose and settled on it. “Well, I certainly would hate to have a fly settle on my nose if I were Dempsey,” ventured Carnage boldly. “I'd hate to have Dempsey settle on nose if I were a fly,” oc. “I bet that fly wouldn't live to tell the story! Say, speaking of stories, I bet that Dempsey could tell plenty!” “Maybe he's dead,” nage timidly. “They tell no tales.” “Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha,” laughed I 7 “Him des Dempsey dead? Next you'll be telling me that fishes fly!” ‘At that moment a bevy of flying fishes rose from a nearby wave and disappeared into the branches of a er poplin. You might be right,” admitted Havoc. “Perhaps we could hold a mirror in front of his mouth. Have you got a mirror in your bag?” A hasty search was made but only a powder-puff and lipstick could’ be found. “Pardon me for intruding,” begged a suave bearded gentleman in the audience, “but I am a coroner and must examine the body.” All present held their breaths whilst Dr. Zin- keiser heated a penny and placed it in the murdered hand. The physician's face was grave as he rose to his feet. “Gentlemen,” said the doctor in a strained voice, “there has been foul play here. Major Esterhazy has been done to death, olav ‘hasholem. Has anybody seen Dawlish, the butler?” Now that you mention it, no,” recollected (Continued on page 29) over began returned suggested Car- dead men man’s comicbooks.com