Judge — December 21, 1929 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHRISMAS NUMBER When Dora ras asked if er mother inlaw was tertaining this Xmas, abe said she hop always thought it ice to have a howe full of relatives for the bolidays. Then there was the Scotchman who hoped his birdlike wife woulda’t be estertaining Xmas. He figured it'd be cheeper, day, Said my old chum ‘elept Jerry, “Your wife should entertaio- ing be.’ I answered, “No, not very.” Paas 4 MieH--(BI—HAT- ——— JUDGE, JUNIOR A CAR AS SWELL AS. A STRANG CF PEARLS) ONLY ONE TOBSWT WEAR \T AROUND ONE'S NECK CLVE LIFE IN AMERICA- “WE WeH HAT CLUB 7 tus “Dy xe} eco We ines Sh Misjudging the News he press Herbert Hoover recently dent Curtis if Mrs. Gann, was Xmas. We understand the Vice- wi “No, my wife isn't entertaining ace 3 this year cathe Nerts to You, Mary Christmas by S Junior Perelman ‘The green snow fell with » dull thog on little Olive Hasholem as sbe sat vending ber matebes in fron’ of the First 8 Foie 10 set the world on fre." Boys, I'm afraid this isn't very entertaining this Xmas, pace 6 At the League of Nations the other day, Museo lini aaid, with bis usual quiet air: “Don't fire till you're sure of the insurance.” Pilsudski good- ‘naturedly replied, I am a Pole and I won't stand for barber shops.” Kamenefl, bis trousers not kamenefl for once, said: ““Etoain shrila ebrdlu.” I don't think he meant any good by it, Washingtoo, had he been there, “You've got to get Junior .” And why ebould we go into the League? We have the National and American Leagues. We have contiued prosperity and the country ix basically sound. Let's keep in mind ‘the reply Asjuith made when Bismarck said he'd beard his wife was entertaining. Asquith. with his ready Wit, replied: “It would seem you're hard of berrine, Bismnarek.” Pace 8 DONT SNocKER ME, Sweden al $ arg EDITORIAL CARTICOW My catinable wales having delivered therm- joads of sagar-teats on the ; eet Baer” seeing ft to claw it with euch dankledauses ‘as ™ Under dem Unier hawsen™ and" Putte putts,” tering ita Mmmmmes. Bium, Blim and Blam the best actresses since the days of Minnie Maddera Hell and Eva La Du- seuse, and the playwright M. Garbooo the finest critter of malady since Henpare Fastelors seria the Bx for nat tl Old Thali hy Seliver.tmpvel! of my ulti- matum: eter Batver™ is a dish of tri “Little Womea”—Flapdood! “Abie's Irish Rose” —To be “Nellie the Beautiful Stop Git Hamlet”—See next week's issue. “Bellan's"—Same here. Gos w LAUGHS tRe6 Suowl a ar) ry 5 SYDEING TE MolES BY WGP, JR, ‘The movies make me sick and the public ts being gypped. The trouble is, you get into one of these big movie palaces and the moguls shine your shoes for you, call you by your first name Tet you have your pick of the lady ushers. But they won't seat qos. I think they ought to take a few. of their million dollars and get me a seat. To make matters worse, I've just seen a picture called “The Love of Loves.” I think it's swell. It has 8 cute young actress in it named Clara Bow. I'm craay about ber. fy CHEER LEADERS wCadsncka,, Wilberforce, veld tertaining this eerie “Nerta to you, Sacrilegeous. Not very.” — Bob Goldenberg, Harvard "39, “Da, Bert, lat thee Tite eaterainia’ com Ne Bi, ce ist not” — Ana PAGE 1S Low Bridge Dear Miter, Lens: I bid no trump, South doubles, North takes my partner out. They go to ight club. What shoubl | dot —Worriad Dear Profemor: West bids three. North bids four, South bids a grand slam. East pames and ‘West leads with his mght. How about it?— Work, Dear Mr. Lens: In going over our books we find that your account is long past— The bridge prize contest winners will absolutely and positively be announced next week. Page 4 NDGE, JUNIOR, (ISK: oS LD “OLD “EST! -BUT, NONCHALA\ Ole 10) UTA MURAD eer ArER } = N) MARTE comicbooks.com