Judge — December 21, 1929 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Broadway Columnist Becomes a Christmas-Card Salesman “Lady, this is just what you want for the b. f. who is that way about you. And if he’s the type who fre- quents whoopee parlors at the yawn- ing, this little hunk of paper here is the nerts. Or here's a wow for the guy who likes giggle water and boop- hoop-a-doop “Something a little more dignifi Sure. Here's one that has what it takes. It looks like a hundred grand, see. It’s a view of the Chow Mein Stem, Villain’s Valley, the Incandes cent Belt—Broadway, I mean—all decked out with Christmas trees. And here's one for a guy with whom you have phhft! It shows a femme with a nifty pair of stems giving a lad that come-on look. She's standing under a spray of mistletoc. And here's one of a real snappy torso-tosser, hip-flipper who— “What? You don’t think you lik: them? Well, then can I name a sand- wich for you? —Dave Mernay JU we Toa e R vo DGE © RES A Scotch Christmas tree ih Sande I Know a Girl... She thinks holly means sacred, that mistletoe is part of a foot, and that Santa Claus is part of a sentence, but she says that Christmas time is the loveliest. in the whole year and that you can’t really appreciate it- unless you know all the legends about it. From Christmas we got to talking about winter sports, and I asked her if she'd ever done any sleighing. She got angry and wanted to know if I thought She looked like a murderess. After T explained to her that sleigh ing was something like coasting she said she didn’t like it. She said just sailing up and down the coast wasn’t any fun to her. If she couldn't go ucross the ocean she didn’t care about going anywhere. She thinks toboggan means to try and buy things cheaply, that snow- shoes are galoshes, and that blizzards are those tough chicken giblets she always gets at family dinners. She wishes you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Carnott Carrorn think we ought to invite old Pete for Christmas dinner this year, Joe?”