Judge, 1929-06-22 · page 7 of 40
Judge — June 22, 1929 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis This page contains two distinct pieces: **"Just a Quiet Little Diary"** (left) is a humorous fictional account by Parker Cummings describing a week of elaborate murders—poisoning, stabbing, theft, and bombing—presented as casual diary entries. The satire mocks sensationalist crime fiction and mystery novels popular at the time, exaggerating the implausibility of one person committing multiple perfect crimes undetected. **The main cartoon** (center/right) depicts a figure on a cliff or high building with people gathered below, captioned "Talkie Director—Your lines are, 'Help! Help!' Can you remember that?" This satirizes early "talking pictures" (sound films), mocking how directors struggled to adapt silent-film techniques to dialogue, and perhaps critiquing actors' limited skills during cinema's transition to sound. **"First Come"** (bottom right) is a brief humorous dialogue about driving lessons.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Just a Quiet Little Diary Monday: Murdered Pollard very ingeniously. Shot him through the heart in a room in which all doors and windows were found locked from the in- side. Left revolver with his fin- ger-prints on it to make it appear suicide. They will never guess. Tuesday: Killed Mrs. Pollard! It was a cinch. Everyone will think she was fixing the gera- niums on her fifteenth-story win- dow ledge and fell out. Wednesday: Stole the Pollard diamonds. The servants will find them gone from the safe without a tell-tale finger-print or other clue. They are worth $500,000. Thursday: I have slain Detec- tive Flannagan who came to in- vestigate the Pollard murders. The papers tomorrow will say: “Detective killed in accident. Automobile ,explodes after he leaves the Pollard apartment.” Poor fools!’ Only I know the secret. I planted a time bomb in his car. Friday: ‘Again I have struck! This time it was Jimson, the Pol- lards’ butler, who turned out to know too much. Tomorrow morn- ing Jimson will-be found in the butler’s pantry dead with a knife in his back. $ Saturday: Knocked off “work for the day, and what a success- ful day it was. Believe me, if I can only think up enough thrills for the coming chapters this mystery novel is going to be a Tarxiz Director—Your lines are, “Help! knockout! —Parke Cumminas you remember that? Help!” Can First Come “You must wake and call me early, call me early, mother dear; Call me early, call me often, call me so I'll surely hear; Please be sure and -call me, mother, call me while it still is dark ; I am driving to the city, and I want a place to park.” —R. C. O’Brien She—Is your wife haying any success in learning to drive the car? He—Well, the road is begin- ning to turn when she does. Calling a cab for one of the tenants of the Ritzmore Apartments. comicbooks.com