Judge — June 22, 1929 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WWIGI Rudy Vallee The Dutch Treat Club invited Rudy Vallee and his Sexopho- nists to complete the Club’s sea- son of luncheon programs. Rudy promised faithfully to be there. He. failed to show up. The. fun is on Rudy though because most of the members elected to remain away from the luncheon when they heard he was on the pro- gram. In case you don’t know who Mr. Vallee is, let me inform you he is exactly what he is, a man who appeals entirely with a saxo- phone. He broadcasts IT over the radio and it is rumored that one can hang hats on the eyes of his lady listeners. It is also rumored that male listeners have been known to throw shoe-trees, bowls of goldfish, humidors, solid furniture, bronze book-ends, and mashie niblicks at their loud speakers, THIS POOR DOG HATED LIFE BECAUSE HE HAD TO WEAR A MUZZLE ~—— SO HE DELIBERATELY WALKED OUT IN THE WAY OF Golf Notes Most golfers, according to Charlie Miller—who talks so much about golf that his North Hempstead Clubfellows are plan- ning a separate Locker House for him—play the explosion shot from a sand trap wrong! “The shot,” fores Charlie, ‘should be played with a closed mouth. Last week I did a good niblick with an open mouth and I had to throw my gum away.” C. Budington Kelland, who wears golf shoes exactly like Walter Hagen’s, was seen staring at his score card with a par-five fairway look in his eye t’other evening. For a long spell he was silent. Eventually he yawned, stretched, and said, ‘“‘Well—guess I'll go home and cut my throat.” Fontaine Fox, who took twen- ty strokes off his game by shav- ing off his long beard (before he shaved he thought he was always playing out of deep rough), was seen taking six putts on the eighteenth green at Cherry Val- LATE ley last Thursday. When inter- viewed in the clubhouse, he said it had happened once before in Altoona, Pa., and dismissed his questioner by bashing a three- pound brogue against a tin towel retriever. (It is said that at midnight that same day, Mr. Fox returned to the green of his crime disguised as a worm-cast and broke his putter over his knee and stuffed the pieces into the cup along with a note. The note follows: “You may have my putter, but my soul belongs to Altoona, Pa.” Rube Goldberg chose Connec- ticut instead of Long Island to live’in because it isn’t so windy. Asked what the wind had to do with it he answered, “The new standard ball adopted by the U. S. G. A. is so light that I couldn’t keep under 200 on Long Island!” I have played with Rube too much and consequently I'am in a position to write about (Continued on page 27) AND WAS. REINCARNATED AND GOT KILLED -—— A CAR —— 21 comicbooks.com